Brokelyn

Yes we can ... put crazy crap all over a shirt.

Hey, it’s politics Friday at Brokelyn! Beyonce, the honorary first lady of Brooklyn, has designed this shirt to raise money to help Barack Obama keep his job when he goes up against that guy who likes to fire people. The design is … interesting. It looks kind of like it was made by the kids who signed my shirt at 5th grade field day (“Good luck this summer! K.I.T. Barry!”) But, whatever, she’s had The Most Important Baby of Our Time to gestate! Would you ever wear this thing? What if it were a Beyonce designed sweater vest instead?

Just in time for the hospital-wing dominating birth of the Most Important Baby of Our Time this weekend, below you will find our favorite entries from our Babyonce pun contest! The winners got two tickets to tonight’s Punderdome 3000 at Southpaw in Park Slope, where all your groaners turn magically into golden side-splitters. Even if you didn’t win, the event is $5 and well worth it, especially as you’re probably in need of something silly and fun to fight off these winter grays. It’s jokes, jovialness and just a good ole Monday night. Read the winning entries below to get warmed up: You may have 99 problems, but these bitches can pun. Read the rest of this entry »

The river puns dry at the Punderdome 3000.

You there, bothering your coworkers and friends with your ceaseless tide of groan-inducing puns: did you know there is a support group for people like you and me? It’s called Punderdome 3000 and it’s returning this Monday at Southpaw in Park Slope. The ‘dome is a night of sheer concentrated silliness, the kind for which you would normally be roundly booed and ejected from your dinner table. You get a topic (say “Will Smith”) and then 90 seconds to come up with a pun, or many puns (“They connected Will Smith to the crime because he left behind fresh prints“), and then deliver them to the audience, which picks the winner. You’d be competing against well-versed punsters, including several from the Brokelyn stables. It’s normally $5 to watch or compete, but we’ve got 10 tickets to give away, and naturally, since Brokelyn is a pun on its own, they’ll go to the best punsters. Make sure to wear your big shoes, because winning this thing is no small feat. Read on!  Read the rest of this entry »

Does anyone have a sublet for Jay-Z and Bey? [E!]
Wake up wake up, it’s the thirst of the month [Broke Ass Stuart]
It’s a bike trap! [Gothamist]
Slope cops turn fashion critics [WSJ]
Bro mag picks NYC’s best dive bars [Complex]
Groupon bubble bursting? [NYT]
The 2011 Greenpoint Espresso Tour [Greenpointers]
Science planning to drink you under the table [Telegraph]

Beyonce's Cadillac Records hair

The new Beyoncé Cosmetology Center at Phoenix House—offering recovering addicts seven months of cosmetology training—sounds like so much fun it’s almost worth faking a Sudafed addiction to get in, especially since beautifying is a “lucrative” field, according to Beep Marty Markowitz. Really? How lucrative? We spoke with some borough stylists to find out.

It all starts with a NY State cosmetology license, which requires 1,000 hours of class time and $10,000 to $15,000 in tuition, on average, though government financial aid is available. Here’s what Brooklyn hair-care pros can expect to earn after that: Read the rest of this entry »