Sign up for Zeel and you could be doing 40 for Robert Brace.

Oprah has a private chef. Bono travels with a massage therapist. And, yeah, pretty much every celebrity has a personal trainer or seven.

So how about the celebrity known as yourhotself?

You may think that your wallet is what’s keeping you from having your own personal health and fitness posse, but Zeel.com, our new promotional pal, is going to give you $50 to prove you wrong.

Zeel is a new booking site where you can make appointments with top NYC nutritionists, dermatologists, personal trainers and other one-on-one service providers for a discount.

Sign up now through Brokelyn and you can get $50 toward your first appointment.

Unlike sites that offer dermabrasion with Dr. Godknowswho for 90 percent off, Zeel’s hand-picked experts are top-notch: the types who author best-selling books, contribute to health and beauty publications, work with celebrity clients and appear on local and national television.

Zeel is also cool because it’s not like deal sites that reap a fortune from well-intended saps who fall prey to impulse buys, only to let those coupons die of old age in a drawer. On Zeel, you actually book your appointment at the time of purchase, whenever you like.

Honestly? You’d be kind of crazy not to sign up with Zeel because 1) it’s free, and 2) your $50 credit never expires. So you may not have the dough today to book an appointment with Christy Turlington’s massage therapist, but soon enough you will.

And here’s another incentive: sign up by July 1 (that’s Friday, people!) , and you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a 28-day, serious butt-kicking with TriBeCa-based trainer-to-the-stars and Zeel expert Robert Brace. Robert’s program (a $1,300 value) combines weight training, interval training, and proprietary body sculpting techniques in 20 sessions proven to result in serious hotness.

It should be obvious that we think this is a highly worthwhile deal. We’ve brought the horse to water (no, we ddin’t mean it that way) and now it’s up to you to do the rest. Sign up and get $50 toward a smokin’ summer bod — and the chance to get your butt kicked by one of the best.

No frostbite here

If you were holding out hope for an Indian summer to squeeze in those last few outdoor jogs, that hope probably just got swept away in a gust of Canadian air. Well, lucky for your Endorphin-high, the YMCA at the Park Slope Armory (along with the Prospect Park Y) is offering a little help to keep you fit, and your wallet fat. The local YMCAs are waiving their joiner’s fee between Dec. 26 and Jan. 31 for their Winter Membership Special. The deal saves you the Armory’s $85 one-time fee ($75 for students), the $121 for a combo membership (Armory plus Prospect Park) or the $121 for Prospect Park alone. There’s still monthly membership, but it’s these initial costs that really hurt—Armory memberships run just $40 per month for adults, $32 for students and $72 for families. More info on the YMCAs here and here.

The inner & outer benefits of backbends, on Yoga Today

Summer has long departed and with it went all the free outdoor workout opportunities, from Zumba in the park to Pilates under the bridge. Winter has far fewer options, which is why it’s tempting to stay inside hoarding cookies like a hibernating bear. If you can’t afford a gym (or fancy insulated running clothes), what do you do for a structured workout? We found a whole world of free online workout videos, perfect for the broke but healthy among us. Don’t worry: Buffed, Beautiful, and Bitchin’ on YouTube isn’t the only game in town.

Hulu
In Hulu’s Health and Wellness section, Denise Austin has her own channel, but being the Rachael Ray of fitness, her voice can be pretty annoying. So if you want that personal experience, try out Kathy Smith. For a relaxing session of yoga or Pilates, there’s Yoga Fusion or Exercise TV’s Yoga & Pilates Channel. For stretch over stretch: Bikini Body Makeover for chicks and Rock Hard Body for dudes. Exercise TV has its own channel and the more specific New Year, New You and Resolution Solution, among others. Also, Self Magazine has a channel full of different types of workouts, and there’s Six Pack Abs for that specific area. And then, of course, there’s The Envy Girls (aka Carmen Electra’s stripper friends) which is just for… kicks?

The downside of Hulu is the ads. Be warned: While some, like Lean Cuisine, are tailored to the health-conscious, others are for chocolate chip cookies. It’s just mean.

Yoga Today
With over 200 classes available, Yoga Today offers one free class a week, streamed right to your computer. You can’t choose which class you can take, but you’ll have variety each week. And the scenery’s hard to beat. You have to become a member (so you can only use the class once), but it’s simple and free.

Women Workout Routines
These very at-home, slightly unprofessional workouts are made by a woman who… sweats a lot. While it’s more realistic (seriously, how many times have you had to pause a video to wipe the sweat off?), she doesn’t give a lot of step-by-step instruction as she goes, so watch the whole video first and then go back to do it. The workouts are a quick 10-ish minutes and on YouTube, and don’t require any gym equipment for the most part. And despite the title, this website works for men too.

Workoutz
This site offers quick tutorials on different workout routines rather than full length videos, with no registration required. While some require gym equipment, there are some you can easily do in your home. As a warning though, there’s no voiceover instruction. So this site should really be used more for a “Am I doing that right?” type of thing.

Exercise TV
Separate from Hulu, Exercise TV has its own website full of additional videos. Streaming the videos is free, but in order to download , it can get costly (cheaper than a gym, but not quite worth it if it’s streaming for free). They also have free downloadable workout plans available on the website, for those of you who are goal-oriented. Some equipment might be required, and as with Hulu, watch out for those blame ads. If you have an iPhone, you can download the app for free, full of tips and free full length workout videos.

Netflix
Yes, Netflix costs per month. But if you’re a user, there are a ton of free workouts available through the ‘Watch Instantly’ feature, from Dance off the Inches to Crunch Gym videos to Self Magazine. These all have established, professional instructors, which might make you feel a little better as you’re working out. Of course, there is the occasional movie or documentary in the wrong section, so don’t get roped-in by a yoga documentary when you’re supposed to actually be doing yoga.

Circle Rules Football. You got what it takes?

We all know the story: you pay something ridiculous for a gym membership and swear that this time, you’re gonna use it. Really. But 5 p.m. comes around, and the last thing you want to do is run like a hamster for 30 minutes in front of a flat-screen. You want something more from your workout, something… alternative. Lucky for you, you live in Brooklyn—where football is circular, bar-hopping is aerobic and exercise need not be boring.

Brooklyn Hash House Harriers
Whoever said drinking isn’t good for you (ha!) obviously hasn’t tried hashing. Let’s call this part scavenger hunt, part foot race and part pub crawl. Starting at a predetermined point, participants race on foot to find chalk marks along a trail. After about an hour of racing, the marks eventually lead to a bar. Then, the party begins. Average cost is around $15, but this is a workout and bar-night all in one.
7 p.m. on Mondays. Visit HashNYC.com for weekly start locations.

Circle Rules Football
There’s a ball, and you can use your foot if you want to—that’s about where the similarities between this and the other games of football end. Half sport, half art, the game was born from NYU’s experimental theater program. Played every Sunday in Prospect Park, the rules call for players to gather on a circular field, with the objective of getting a yoga-style fitness ball through a central goal from one side. The opposing team defends and tries to pass it through from the other way. This sport doesn’t take itself too seriously, and beginners are welcome. But for those who want to make it to that inner circle, there’s always league play.
Open Play: Long Meadow, Prospect Park, 2 p.m. on Sundays
League Play: N. 10th St. and Kent Ave., Williamsburg; 6 to 8 p.m. on Wednesdays

Captain Quinn’s Boot Camp
Rise and shine, soldier, and report for an hour of aerobics, strength building and teamwork exercises in the crisp, morning Brooklyn air. Jon Quinn, a certified personal trainer with a real passion for getting people in shape, created his Boot Camp to provide the benefits of personalized training in a group setting for a fraction of what it would cost at a gym. With a suggested price per session of just $10 and a policy of never turning away anyone due to limited budget, you’ll always be able to work something out. Register for a free one-week trial using the code “BROKELYN” and the good captain will waive the $15 reservation fee AND give you an extra week free.
Park Slope, Carroll Gardens and Brooklyn Heights (times vary by location), 888-850-1674

Brooklyn Boulders
The old Daily News garage in Gowanus has been completely transformed into one of the most extensive rock climbing gyms in the city. Brooklyn Boulders is a challengingly-satisfying way to get one serious workout, with walls for climbers of any skill level. Rates during peak hours are $20, but you’ll save by buying in bulk (membership deals range from 10-pack passes to a year of unlimited access). And if you’re a night owl or can sneak off during the day, the off-peak rate is $15, which includes a day pass and gear rental (shoes, chalk, harness). Discounts also are available for kids, students and seniors.
575 Degraw St. at Third Ave., Gowanus, 347-834-9066

Gowanus Dredgers Canoe Club
With free canoeing all summer long, the Gowanus Dredgers are taking the ‘d’ out of Superfund. Take one of their canoes out for a tour of Gowanus Bay, or link up with the Red Hook Boaters and visit Hallets Cove on the East River. A strong sense of adventure and a tolerant sense of smell are highly recommended.
Check schedule for times; Boats launch from 2nd St. near Bond St. in Gowanus, and Louis Valentino Jr. Pier Park in Red Hook, 718-243-0849

There’s a FREE introductory class at Midwood Martial Arts & Family Fitness Center, 1302 Ave. H at Rugby, 718-258-KICK. You have to call or email to RSVP.

In Park Slope, Madeline Vera teaches Zumba on Wednesdays, 6:30 – 7:30 and Fridays 7 – 8 at Camp Friendship,
339 8th St. between 5th & 6th Ave. The first class is only $5, and they’re $10 after that, unless you buy multi-packs that are a really good deal. An eight-class card is only $60, which is only $7.50 a class. For more info call 718-965-7543.

For more on Zumba, here’s the official site and the Brooklyn Zumba Facebook page. And if you’ve already tried it, tell us: is Zumba really all that?