Photos by Daniel Delaney.

When you’ve only got pocket change to spend on lipstick, which one should you buy? The game glamouristas of Brokelyn set out to put an end to budget makeup confusion by putting five bargain brands through their summer paces. Faces painted with the cheapest concoctions of wax and pigment money can buy, they drank 40 ouncers, snarfed pizza and stuck their faces in an NYC fire hydrant. Read on to find out what we discovered about venerable cosmetic brands Jordana, Wet ‘n’ Wild, NIcka K, NYX and NYC. Here, Alison’s Wet ‘n’ Wild makeup lives up to its name. Mascara ($3.49), liquid liner ($2.89), and lipstick ($0.99), all from Walgreens.

The lipstick wrecking crew, clockwise from lower left: Aison Pels, Caroline Shadood, Meghan Doherty, Meredith Olson.

∆ Meghan prepares for battle, NYC makeup perfectly in place. She tested the brand’s City Duet eyeshadow $2.99, mascara $2.99, liquid eyeliner $2.99 and Ultralast lipwear $1.99. “The liquid eyeliner went on cleanly and easily, making me question my usual $27 Dior liquid liner, but the mascara made me look like I only had seven lashes. The lipstick was attractively colored but required several redos. By the day’s end I’d gone through a half tube. Worse, the top wasn’t secure and it melted in bag.”

∆ Caroline performs the ultimate test on Jordana brand mascara, eyeliner and lipstick, all $1.50 at a 99-cent store at Flushing Station. “I was pleasantly surprised that my lipstick and mascara stayed put,” she says. “The eyeliner morphed into a sultry smokey look, so I’d recommend using this application/hydrant wetting method in anticipation of a hot night out.”

∆ The pizza test: Jordana and Nicka K survive two slices to win this round. Not faring so well: NYC and Wet ‘n’ Wild. “Eating pizza with my mouth should have had no bearing on the performance of my eyeliner, but sitting in the hot pizza parlor left black smears in the bottom corners of my eyes,” says Alison, who wore the latter. “My love affair with this lipstick was short-lived. Less than one slice into the pizza-thon, I had eaten all of the lipstick except for an outline of my mouth.”

∆ The testers practice their Snooki faces.

∆ The overall winner? Meredith’s Nicka K eyeliner and mascara (each $1.99 from a 99-cent store in Bushwick) and NYX lipstick ($2.99), with a few qualifications. Says Meredith: “I have no idea who Nicka K is, but she sure can make makeup that stays on — aside from some initial crumbling, that is. The second I applied the eyeliner, it began to flake off. But once it cut its losses, my face seemed impervious to water, and I had nary a drop of mascara-tinged water run down my face, unlike Alison. The mascara didn’t bleed at all but also didn’t seem to add too much volume or length to my lashes.I totally dunked myself in that hydrant spray, but my lipstick didn’t budge.”

Special thanks to Daniel Delaney for the photos. Daniel is a food blogger and the founder of VenderTV, and you can see more of his work at DanielDelaney.com.

Colbert: Not drunk enough to enjoy this yet

Last night, Stephen Colbert gave a laudatory Tip of the Hat  to the new dirt cheap beer on the block: Big Flats, the $3.99 Walgreen’s six pack that recently hit New York (see the full video below). He says the “cheaper than gum beer” is exactly what America needs in tough times. We’re no strangers to budget beer, so Big Flats landed in our carts as soon as it hit the shelves. While the sixer costs $1 more in New York than elsewhere, it’s still half the cost of a beer in a bar. Colbert likes it, but as members of the “blogos-beer,” does it pass our standards? Here’s what you need to know about Big Flats:

Variety: Lager.

Cost: With tax and bottle deposit, 77 cents a can.

Alcohol content: Isn’t listed on the can, but the internets say it’s 4.5 percent.

But really: We don’t believe the internets: you get way more than 4.5 percent wasted on one can.

Keep in mind: You can only buy it until 9 p.m. at Walgreens.

The flavor: Can best be described as “generic,” but isn’t terrible. This comes from a guy who has reached his lifetime limit of PBR consumption (too many long nights with bitter taste buds, ridiculously frequent trips to the bathroom and … Blue Ribbon gas bubbles ruining otherwise pleasant social outings). Creamy and smooth, Big Flats is slightly tinny but mostly bland. Not super bubbly like the drug store’s next cheapest option, Miller High Life, and definitely not as crisp.

The buzz: Foggy and constricting, like downing a malt liquor too quickly and suddenly being forced to do math problems. After drinking several last night, I felt a sense of rot gut setting in, seemingly crystallizing in a heavy stone in my stomach that made sitting up from the couch as difficult a task as Phil Connors escaping Punxsutawney in Groundhog Day (which we happened to be watching at the time).

Similar to: Nametag Beer (Trader Joe’s brand); Genesee Cream Ale.

The verdict: Even for cheap beer, you can do better. If Big Flats were available as the cheapest option in a bar (which it isn’t), I would buy it. But I would probably get in a fight that night too. This is not the brew to pull out to impress your guests, though it does get the job done in a pinch. For my real drinking on the cheap, I’ll stick with Simpler Times lager from Trader Joe’s. It costs the same, and packs a bigger punch: 6.2 percent alcohol, with a flavor that I’ve either alrady gotten used to, or is possibly even somewhat enjoyable.

But, if more snowpocalyi ensue, Walgreens is a lot closer to my apartment than TJ’s, so I could see a lot of what, as Colbert says, “some critics have called beer” in my future.

(Big Flats discussion starts at 2:15)

Good news, New Yorkers: Walgreens prices beat Duane Reade (slightly) in our check of 15 essential (and some not-so-essential) items, and the overall price for our trip to Walgreens was about $30 cheaper. The companies said Duane Reade’s 257 stores will keep operating under their name after the buyout, but consolidation is inevitable.

Our undercover price scoping took us behind the automatic doors at the Williamsburg Duane Reade on North 5th and the Walgreens on Union Ave. While the price differences were often minor, Walgreens offers a wider variety of generic products, a noisier store, and a security-protected deodorant case to ward off obsessive-compulsive (and sweaty) kleptomaniacs. And while Duane Reade is unarguably the more aesthetically appealing of the two stores, it fails to have such necessities as the Inspire Waterproof Rubber Sheet Protector and the famed “As Seen on TV” and celebrity perfume aisles (Walgreens graces its floors with FOUR different varieties of Celine Dion fragrances). Check out the results of the study after the jump, with each round’s winner in blue.

TOOTHPASTE
Colgate (Cavity Protection 8.2 oz tube)
Duane Reade: $2.99
Walgreens: $3.99

Generic
Walgreens: Anticavity/Antigingivitis Whitening Fluoride Toothpaste 6 oz – $2.49
Duane Reade: None

Crest vs. Colgate is like the battle of Coke vs. Pepsi, but after a quick once-over in the toothpaste aisle, it’s clear that Colgate’s dental repertoire is easier on the wallet. Duane Reade provides brand-name cavity protection for a reasonable $2.99, but they don’t offer a generic. Non-label snobs can head to Walgreens and save $0.50 or 1/4 of a PBR.

PAIN KILLERS
Advil (liquid gels 40 count)
Duane Reade: $7.89
Walgreens: $7.49

Generic Ibuprofen
Duane Reade: $6.49
Walgreens: $5.99

It’s totally understandable to want the Gucci of toothpastes, since keeping your grill fresh can help you avoid prison time (thanks, Lil Wayne). However, we see nothing sexy about brand-name painkillers, and Walgreens will cure your toothache/hangover/last night’s heel trauma on the cheap.

3. HEMORRHOIDAL OINTMENT
Preparation H (2 oz.)
Duane Reade: $14.69
Walgreens: $13.49

Generic (2 oz.)
Duane Reade: $10.99
Walgreens: $10.99

Let it be noted that Walgreens’s generic variety is a hot item, as the shelf was empty by the time we arrived.

4. WELLBUTRIN (XL 150mg 30 pills)
Duane Reade: $212.69
Walgreens: $194.99

5. VIAGRA (50mg 6 pills)
Duane Reade: $119.49
Walgreens: $110.99

Recession got you down? It will get you even further down if you buy your uninsured Wellbutrin or Viagra at Duane Reade. Our advice: Stick to recreational drugs.

6. BANDAGES
BandAid (Tough Strips 20 count)
Duane Reade: $4.79
Walgreens: $4.49

Generic
Duane Reade: $3.79
Walgreens:  $3.99

If you can stand to part with colorful Elmo-themed bandages to cheer you up post-paper cut, you can save some dough. Both stores offer generic bandages for less.

7. CONTACT SOLUTION
Bausch and Lomb Renu
Duane Reade: $9.49
Walgreens: $9.99

Generic
Duane Reade: $6.99
Walgreens: $6.99

This is one item that offers pretty significant savings if you opt for generic. Sorry, Bausch and Lomb, $3 is a falafel at the Bedford L, or a nice pair or scissors for the recession ritual of credit-card cutting.

8. GUM
Orbitz spearmint
Duane Reade: $1.49
Walgreens: $1.29

Gum has evolved far beyond the nondescript Trident “Original” flavor, but we decided to remain fairly conservative and go for a nice, minty Orbitz. Your breath might not be fresher from making a trip to Walgreens, but you will be $0.20 richer.

9. DEODORANT
Duane Reade: Dove Original Clean Scent – $3.69; Old Spice Original – $3.39
Walgreens: Dove Original Clean Scent – $3.99; Old Spice Original – $3.59

We have yet to see generic deodorant, and there’s a reason for that; you don’t mess with B.O. Don’t get sucked into Old Spice’s marketing, which makes you drop at least an extra $2 for its “Swagger” variety (a.k.a. “The Official Scent of Confidence”). Duane Reade is clearly the place to smell best for less.

The Walgreens bargain bin.

10. BAR SOAP
(2 bars Dove White/Men’s Extra Fresh)
Duane Reade: $3.79
Walgreens: $4.29

So fresh and so clean clean for $0.40 less at Duane Reade. However, when it comes to selection, Walgreens sells generic versions of Dial, Irish Spring, and Lever 2000 for about $2 per three-pack.

11. CONDOMS
Trojan Lubricated Ultra Ribbed 3-pack
Duane Reade: $5.99
Walgreens: $6.79

If you don’t trust those plentiful free NYC condoms, do yourself a favor and go for the ultra-ribbed at Duane Reade. We guarantee you’ll both be lying down by the fire listening to Michael McDonald in no time.

12. BOOZE
Duane Reade: Coors Light Six Pack – $6.99; Blue Moon Six Pack – $10.49; Heineken Six Pack – $9.99
Walgreens: No beer. #fail

Duane Reade doesn’t have the Champagne of Beers, but it does carry Blue Moon. That’s a win by forfeit. Now if they only sold oranges.

13. RED BULL
Duane Reade: $2.19 or special 2/$4
Walgreens: $2.19

You get your wings for less at Duane Reade when you purchase two cans or more.

14. FACE WASH
Neutrogena Acne Wash
Duane Reade: $7.49
Walgreens: $7.49

Generic face wash
Duane Reade: $6.49
Walgreens: $5.29

Dirty faces are no good for job interviews. To keep your best asset sparkling on the cheap, Walgreens’s knock-off Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash is your friend.

15. BODY WASH
(Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash)
Duane Reade: $10.99
Walgreens: $9.79

Generic body wash
Duane Reade: $6.99
Walgreens: $5.99 or 2/$10

We know you’re buying body wash: Recently the scales have tipped, and body wash outsold bar soap for the first time.

TOTALS
Name-brand products
Duane Reade: $410.86
Walgreens: $384.85

Generic products
Duane Reade: $41.74
Walgreens: $37.05

DUANE READE BONUS: Drink your sorrows away while you stock up on next year’s valentines. Duane Reade scores brownie points for carrying booze, disposable underwear (left), and Jonas Brothers Valentines for 50% off. But no Snuggies for sale, DR? We all know that a drugstore is only as good as its hands-free, fleece, wearable blanket selection.

WALGREENS BONUS: Get your high-fructose corn syrup fix! There’s an item-of-the-month bin that lets you pick any two deliciously processed treats for $3: Oreos, Ritz Crackers, Act II Popcorn, Lorna Doones. Snuggies are $14.99, which you may need to keep your warm as you wait in a line of three people that takes four hours to move.

Which one do you think is better, Walgreens or Duane Reade? Or maybe CVS or Rite Aid? Tell us in the comments!