Which one turns PB from a food of desperation to one of pure nutty joy?

THE PROCESS
Two broken blenders later and multiple jars of store-brand natural peanut butter chilling in my fridge, I called some friends in to do a Peanut Butter Challenge. I set up five different samples consisting of three natural peanut butter varieties, one jar of Skippy as the “control” and my own homemade spread. I chose natural peanut butters that were readily available and cost less than $5. Could the taste testers tell the difference? And which peanut butter was the biggest crowd pleaser?

In our taste test, we had five identical sample bowls, then tasted everything and took our own notes and compared the results. Lastly, we ranked our peanut butter samples from most to least favorite.

THE BEST
Key Foods Natural Creamy Peanut Butter, $2.69
The panel agreed that the store-brand peanut butter was neither too sweet nor too salty. The Key Foods brand also scored high marks for its strong nutty flavor, minimal aftertaste and that it didn’t coat your mouth. Universally, everyone agreed that this peanut butter would probably be good in just about anything.

RUNNER UP
Brad’s Organic Peanut Butter, Smooth, $3.99 (Available at grocery stores, health food stores or at www.bradsorganic.com)
Brad’s peanut butter overall was highly rated as being very smooth, had a slightly smoky taste and naturally sweet but was second choice because stuck to your mouth more than the store brand peanut butter. Overall the crowd liked this peanut butter better though as it wasn’t as salty either. A good choice for pairing with sweet foods or on a sandwich.

A DISTANT THIRD
Maple Grove Farms Smooth Peanut Butter, $3.19 (Available at grocery stores, health food stores or online)
Most of the reviewers thought that this peanut butter had a strange odor with a slightly burnt (or fermented) taste, and one reviewer found it to be the greasiest peanut butter in the group. However, one lone reviewer ranked this peanut butter as a top choice due to the strong nutty flavor and that it was very well balanced in regards to the sweet to salty ratio.

Senor Jesus, patron saint of tasty peanut butter

DON’T EVEN BOTHER
Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter, $2.69
The resounding reviews were that Skippy was too creamy, too sweet and had a “processed” or “plastic” taste. I, however, gave this peanut butter a pretty high rating partially out of childhood nostalgia but mostly because I liked the undertones of toasted nuts and molasses. The group agreed that if left with a choice of buying this peanut butter or going without, they’d rather eat something else.

A FOR EFFORT, D FOR PRICE
Homemade peanut butter, $3-4 (depending on where you buy).
Granted, this peanut butter wasn’t finished properly because I burned out the motor on my blender mid-blending (twice), but the resounding reviews were gave high marks to the density of the homemade, which was much higher than any of the other samples. The panel also agreed that the nutty flavor was more intense on the than the store-bought varieties, which was another key selling point. The only downside is that this variety of peanut butter used an entire 16 oz jar or dry roasted peanuts to yield 8 ounces of finished product, which made it a lesser value than store-bought peanut butter, which comes in standard 16 oz jars.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY
Broken blenders aside, making your own peanut butter definitely has a “wow” factor while being fun and simple to do (just make sure to use a food processor instead). Here’s a crash course on how to make your own peanut butter and a simple recipe.

Basic Peanut Butter recipe

16 oz. roasted peanuts, unsalted

A mild flavored oil of your choosing (I like Sunflower Seed oil), just a little.

1. Chop the peanuts finely. Really. Even though you’re going to puree them, this is what burned out my blender. Learn from my experience or use a food processor.

2. Put all the nuts into your blender/food processor and chop until VERY fine, about a minute or so. Scrape down the sides of the bowl every so often.

3. Turn on the blender/food processor again and slowly drizzle in the oil to achieve the consistency you like for about 2 minutes. You don’t want to use too much oil or the peanut butter will break, resulting in a greasy, soup-like spread. When in doubt, keep it out.

4. Transfer the finished peanut butter to an airtight container and refrigerate it if you’re not going to use it immediately or if you like a firm peanut butter. Its good to go for a couple of months!

And that’s it. No chicanery and you could stir in any fancy components that you want to dress it up. In fact, you could do this with just about ANY nut you wanted to, or even soybeans (for those who are allergic).

A $2.50 Montreal bagel from Mile End.

If hell was a bit nippy this past weekend, or airborne pigs were spotted over Prospect Park, I can offer an explanation. Which is this: Shortly after noon on Saturday, I, The Brokavore, a man devoted to thrift the way carp are devoted to swimming, walked into the Mile End on Hoyt Street in Boerum Hill, asked for a poppyseed bagel, and pried $2.50 from my cold, not-quite-dead hands.

This unlikely event followed on the heels of my rant last week about the Canada-centric diner’s practice of having bagels express-delivered from Montreal early Saturday mornings, and the wrongness of Brooklynites eating bagels with an overinflated pricetag and a global footprint that would give Al Gore indigestion.

It sparked my curiosity about what such bagels were like, and whether the Canadians can best us in anything besides hockey and healthcare, so I picked up a poppy model (the other choices were sesame and plain) and took it home to investigate.

First observation: Canadian bagels are skinny, with a hole in the middle that you can fit a finger through. As an enemy of puffed-up, oversized bagels, I approved. And they’ve got a pleasing irregularity of shape created by hand-rolling. So far so good.

Second observation: They’re…. how should I put this….. bad. I kid you not. Deep down I expected to like them, maybe even to have to admit that they were a worthy alternative to Brooklyn bagels. But they lacked flavor beyond a pronounced and unwelcome sweetness, and their texture was dry and crumbly.

I toasted the second half, and it helped, but not enough. And two fellow tasters agreed: “mealy,” Becky called it, while Jim complained that it just lay there lifeless in his mouth, and “didn’t put up a fight.” He also noted that the bite in question had cost about 50 cents. So, here at Brokelyn, our advice stands: See America first.

But we know you want more out of the world than just one can. And so it’s time to break free from those blue ribbons and embrace a post PBR-era. And there are plenty of other low-cost options.

This we determined by slogging through them, one by one.  With low budgets and thirsty gullets, we set out to answer the question: when it comes to the bottom-of-the-cost-ladder beers out there, which ones are the best?

Our approach was academic—we collected a representative sample of 13 of the cheapest brews (we’re saving malt liquor for a future panel) available in Brooklyn and put them before a panel of eight diverse, educated (and mostly financially challenged) beer drinkers to blind taste test our way through this watery, gassy, mess. All beer prices are from the Thrifty Beverage Center at 990 McDonald Ave., unless otherwise indicated.

Our panel agrees: it's especial

HONORABLE MENTION #1

Modelo Especial
Overall score: 5.5
$13.99 per 12-pack ($0.10 per oz)
The panel gave Modelo a modest overall score, but still chose it as their second favorite in a final round of voting. It got props for its “back of the tongue bitter” taste, its pleasing amber color and smooth drinkability.
Comments:
Robin (female): “This tastes like Gowanus Yacht Club.”
Jeremy (enthusiast): “More complex flavor. Possibly made with actual hops.”
Dave: “No crap after taste.”

HONORABLE MENTION #2

Simpler Times
Overall score: 5.9
$3.99 per 6-pack: ($0.06 per oz) only available at Trader Joe’s
This high-alcohol content (6.2 percent) lager has been an increasingly common site around the borough since it appeared on Trader Joe’s shelves last winter. With a flavor our panel, not unkindly, described as “tastes like beer” and “reminds me of grandpa,” it’s a serviceable beverage a few lunges above swill at an indisputably recession-friendly price. (Full disclosure: seven out of the eight members of the beer panel are currently or have recently been employees of Trader Joe’s.)
Comments:
Noah (had his first beer last year): “I like this beer.”

THE WORST

Tecate
Overall score: 3.0
$21.99 per 24-pack ($0.08 per oz)
In the biggest shocker of our blind taste test, our panel learned that, bereft of its alluring red can (and optional lime garnish), everyone absolutely despised Tecate. This was true even for Ryan, previously a Tecate fan, who brought this entry to our competition and even cracked one open as an appetizer before the tasting began. His comments: “Words cannot describe how much I hate this one. I would pay $0 for it.” The poor Tecate was also maligned for its bad aftertaste, wretched odor and weak flavor.

THE UGLIEST (Lowest appearance score)

THE REST

Jeremy braces for another round of tasting

Ballantine
Overall score: 4.13
$1.75 for 22 oz ($0.08 per oz)*
Curtis: “Could be more boring.”

Miller Genuine Draft
Overall score: 4.44
$16.99 for 30-pack ($0.05 per oz)
Noah: “Bubbly”