Yes we can ... put crazy crap all over a shirt.

Hey, it’s politics Friday at Brokelyn! Beyonce, the honorary first lady of Brooklyn, has designed this shirt to raise money to help Barack Obama keep his job when he goes up against that guy who likes to fire people. The design is … interesting. It looks kind of like it was made by the kids who signed my shirt at 5th grade field day (“Good luck this summer! K.I.T. Barry!”) But, whatever, she’s had The Most Important Baby of Our Time to gestate! Would you ever wear this thing? What if it were a Beyonce designed sweater vest instead?

OMG! That magenta one is YOU.

WHAT: A party celebrating the launch of our brand new Brokelyn Freeshirts*, featuring our famous Heads of State-designed logo, fashionably wrought by designer Bob Bland of Brooklyn Royalty

Photo by Bob Bland

WHERE: Mission Dolores Bar
WHEN: Friday night (9/16), 7 to 10 p.m.
WHO: You and your friends, relatives, frenemies and frelatives present and future
HOW MUCH: Buy a Brokelyn Free-Shirt at our low, low introductory price of $20 and get 2-for-1 beers at the party, which is only a taste of swag to come
WHY: Brokelyn events are always FUN FUN FUN because we attract the grooviest people.  And also, because we’re not selling these sorry-ass t-shirts. And also, because we need your hot self to model these stylin’ Brooklyn t-shirts for the site. Witness street model Bryce, this only slightly unuspecting hunk we photographed at Fashion’s Night Out. Hubba Hubba! (We’re talking about the shirt, of course.)

*We call them Freeshirts because of all the free stuff you get when you wear them around town. Earn your investment back and maybe even pay for your pants! Deals include:

 2-for-1 Robicelli’s cupcake at the Dekalb Market, Mondays and Tuesdays
2-for-1 beer or coffee at Flying Saucer on Tuesdays
2-for-1 drinks at Bocca Lupo after 10:30 on Friday and Saturday nights
2-for-1 beer at karaoke Wednesdays, MikNic Lounge
A free one-bite appetizer at St. Austere restaurant in Williamsburg
2-for-1 Learn the Ropes class (a $75 value) at Brooklyn Boulders (both people must be wearing shirts)
And so much more!

Check out our party Facebook page and RSVP!

Follow Faye: @fayepenn

What does he ask in return? Only that you read his articles and email them to your friends from time to time. Comment on them when you’re so moved. And buy a $20 $19.99 t-shirt so we can have a kickass intern party at the end of the summer. Buy one t-shirt and Trevor can have two beers at the party. If you buy two t-shirts, he can have three beers and two items of his choice off of the appetizer tray. Three t-shirts, and you get an autographed printout of your favorite Trevor story. Four t-shirts and maybe… you could lend him one?

[via FreeWilliamsburg]

Non-ironic '70s kids' pants: 3 for $25.

Those who thought Canal Jeans had vanished from the city’s radar in 2002 were only partially right.

Since the Broadway location shuttered, it’s no longer a closet-refilling station for NYU students and New Jersey high-school kids dying to land “most individualistic” in their class superlatives. (Do they still have those?) But Canal Jeans, or at least an intriguingly decrepit version of it, lives on behind the Target on Nostrand Avenue, and it remains a place where the adventurous budgeteer could come away with a bag full of finds, if not an afternoon’s amusement.

For those who wander in unwittingly, easy enough to do since there’s no sign, an appropriate response is: WTF? When the Manhattan store shut down in 2002, they took whatever was left unsold—a combination of new and vintage goods—and sent it to this nondescript two-floor space (below) across from what is now the Target parking garage and next to a dubious-sounding beef retailer called “Meat Barn.” The Brooklyn Canal Jeans is apparently not well-known. “Am I the only person in New York whose is aware that this place still exists??” wrote the lone reviewer on Yelp, saying the place resembled “Moscow, circa 1985.” Pretty much, except they had bread lines and here there isn’t another soul around.

The Canal staff say they don’t get new stock, and are only around until they sell off all of the old stuff. But how to explain a Bionicles costume that had a Target label dated 2005, originally $24.99, marked down to $10, marked down to $1.99, and sold to a happy 6-year-old customer for $1, along with a cape and a mask, also a buck each?

Clothing-wise, the 10-for-$5 bins are full of Reagan-era relics: long-sleeve polo shirts that button all the way down, t-shirts cut off above the navel, but there are also Smith carpenter jeans and Levi’s for $10, along with racks of bookish camel blazers, 3 for $25. And what St. Ann’s parent wouldn’t beam with pride to send his shaggy-haired moppet off to school in a pair of vintage ’70s plaid slacks just like dad used to wear?  But wait, there’s more…

How can there not be a single cute dress in this $5 rack? How about the red-and-white one all the way left?

Do red tiger-print stovepipe jeans ever go out of style in BK? They say $25—what is this, Bergdorf’s?—but go ahead, make an offer.

At 2 for $5, the polyester lemon-yellow golf trousers come out to $2.50 each. OK, so there are about three skinny gay guys in Williamsburg who could get away with these, but if you’re out there…

From this angle, they look almost Meatpacking District-worthy. Chic blackout curtains?

It’s important to note that you will pass items like this:

Apparently it didn’t even sell in Moscow. Canal Jean Company, 2236 Nostrand Ave. between H & I,  718-421-7590