SATURDAY
8pm: live band karaoke contest, free doughnuts, drink specials, more at ‘jewltide‘. southpaw, $10.

8:30pm: brooklyn bowl’s annual jolly bowl is soundtracked by live bands playing tribal tunes. $10.

SUNDAY
thru 1/31: the ymcas at the park slope armory and prospect park are waiving their joiner’s fee (reg $85 and $121)

1-6pm: we’re not in england, but who cares? celebrate boxing day with free bangers + mash at park slope’s black horse pub, free.

ALL WEEKEND
11am, 3:30pm (last chance): baboons, meerkats and pallas cats unwrap holiday ‘presents’ filled with treats for our amusement. prospect park zoo, free with $8 zoo admission.

thru 1/2: american ballet theatre brings a new, full-blown production of the nutcracker to bam, with tchaikovsky’s classic score performed by a live orchestra. $20+

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FRIDAY
7pm:

9pm (doors): this month’s dig deeper ‘60s soul party at southpaw features syl johnson (his 1967 ‘different strokes‘ has been sampled by wu-tang clan and others) and the sweet divines. southpaw, $15.

SATURDAY
12-9pm: the brooklyn comics + graphics fest is packed with lectures, conversations, sales, exhibits, satellite events, more. our lady of mt. carmel church (williamsburg), free.

12-6pm: 3rd ward’s handmade holiday craft fair features clothes, accessories, food, workshops (printmaking, flocking, sewing). bonus: make your own electronic holiday card (!). free admission.

6pm: wax on! real and fake hairies can compete at the nyc beard and moustache competition. club europa (bk), $15 adv, $20 door.

ALL WEEKEND
save 30% off your entire purchase at cvs (in-store with printable coupon and online)

11am, 3pm (every weekend this month): baboons, meerkats and pallas cats unwrap holiday ‘presents’ filled with treats for our amusement. prospect park zoo, free with $8 zoo admission.

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FRIDAY
8pm:

9pm: The Machine (honing their Pink Floyd skills for 20+ years) perform a mix of Floyd standards @ Brooklyn Bowl, $15

5pm-3am (thru Saturday): Puppets Jazz Bar (South Park Slope) is facing the possibility they may have to close their doors. help to keep them open at this two-day fundraiser. no cover, pay what you can.

SATURDAY
3pm: Support Greenpoint Open Studios with a good old-fashioned water balloon fight + have the chance to win cash money. Undia St. mural (West st. + the East River), $10.

9pm: Post-punk hero Thurston Moore joins experimental duo White Out for a show @ Knitting Factory, $10 adv/$12 dos

SUNDAY
10am-4pm: Jupiter’s Motorcycles hosts the first annual Gowanus block party/motorcycle, car + art show. Human foosball(?!), trike racing for the kids, grub from local vendors, plus a free after party @ Littlefield. 8th st btwn 2nd + 3rd aves.

12-5pm: Celebrate Michael Jackson’s birthday with Spike Lee, tunes spun by DJ Spinna, more. Prospect Park’s nethermead, free.

1-5pm: 2x2x2 bbq! NYC Daily Deals will be grillin’ up $2 franks and burgers and serving $2 well drinks and beer in honor of their second birthday. bonus: raffles! bell house, free admission (rsvp).

gates @ 2pm: ‘super special guests!’ close out this year’s Jelly Pool Parties with some help from Delorean and Dominique Young Unique. east river state park, free.

ALL WEEKEND
9am-6pm (+ 9/4-5): Borough Park’s Maple Lanes celebrates 50 years (!) with 50-cent games

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FRIDAY
8pm:

8pm: Ren and Stimpy writer/director co-creator Bob Camp shares stories and shows some cartoons at Observatory, $5.

8pm (thru Sun): It started on Wednesday, but there are still 3 days and 39 singer/songwriters + bands to go at the 4th annual Local Correspondents Music Festival. Park Slope’s Bar4, Free.

SATURDAY
12pm, 9pm: The Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival closing performance day and after party with De La Soul, Jazzy Jay, more. Brooklyn Bridge Park/Tabacco Warehouse + Southpaw, $10-15.

12pm: Happy 4th birthday Union Hall! Free Reyka vodka lemonades 1-2pm ($5 after), $6 jerk chicken + $5 veggie burgers, good times.

3pm (thru Sun): the 4th annual Psychobilly Luau Weekender @ Bell House includes djs, vendors, a fashion show, bbq, contests + performances from Guana Batz, The Goddamn Gallows, The Neanderthals, more. $20-25/day, $40/weekend.

5-9pm: IFC’s “Dinner With The Band” takes over the Finger on The Pulse BBQ Blowout: chef Sam Mason (WD-50) feeds you while DWTB creators Darin + Greg Besnitz spin the tunes. Good Company, $10/plate.

8:30pm (weekends thru 7/25): The Piper Theater Company performs The Book of Liz, a play about an always-sweating nun and her cheese balls. Really. Written by The Talent Family (A.K.A. Amy and David Sedaris… of course!). Old Stone House, free.

SUNDAY
gates at 2pm: The Jelly Pool Parties kick off with Deerhoof + Xiu Xiu performing Joy Division’s classic LP ‘Unknown Pleasures’ + sets by Why?, Fang Island and Pictureplane. East River State Park, free.

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FRIDAY
Thru 9/12:

SATURDAY
2, 6pm: King Lou Reed and Queen Laurie Anderson join the procession down Coney’s Surf Ave for the 27th Annual Mermaid Parade (free). Stay ’til 6pm to get your minor league baseball fix for a fraction of the cost of the majors at the Brooklyn Cyclones first home game ($8-16). Bonus: fireworks!

7:30pm: Musicians celebrate the 40th anniversary Miles Davis’ seminal album, Bitches Brew. Prospect Park Bandshell, $3 suggested donation.

8pm: Brooklyn Salsa Company launch party! $2/3 Brooklyn brew, live music from The Rassle, Naam and Boomclique. Party Expo (929 Broadway), $2 cover.

SUNDAY
12-4pm: Jupiter’s Motorcycles (the only motorcycle rental company in NYC) hosts a BBQ with free Brooklyn brew and hot dogs (veggie and meat), tunes by Black and Gold record shop, plus 15% off any rental this month. Vrooom!

4:30, 8pm: The BAM CinemaFEST concludes with Dublin’s 3epkano performing an original live score to G.W. Pabst’s Diary of a Lost Girl, starring Louise Brooks. Closing party after 8pm screening. $19.

Sundown: Sing the body electric at Habana Outpost’s outdoor screening of Fame, free.

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Saturday at 4, They Might Be Giants perform a free concert at the Prospect Park Bandshell for a $3 donation, as part of Celebrate Brooklyn. Info, here.

Also on Saturday, the Kris Waldherr Studio-Gallery (this woman is amazing), is hosting an opening for the show, Brooklyn: Through a Child’s Eyes,” featuring the illustrations of 21 kids ages 3 to 9, who created the work in a single afternoon recently. There’s a book, too. Noon to 3, 1501 Newkirk Ave. (entrance on Marlborough Road, around the corner from subway station), 347-406-5811.

If you’re hitting the road or the skies this summer, plan now for a bon voyage at Flight 001′s sample sale Saturday and Sunday at their Smith St. location (132 Smith St.). The travel store, whose online product menu includes everything from aerotherapy to “jet comfort,”  is celebrating Bastille Day and selling “one of a kind” samples, cds and an assortment of bags. There’s also a packing-themed raffle.

Or brings the kids to the Brooklyn Children’s Museum (145 Brooklyn Ave. at St. Marks Ave.) tonight at 5 for the first of the Target Free Friday Family Jams. Ugandan music and dance will be featured tonight, with some film shorts and African Pearl Troupe leading a drum session (bring your own drum to join in), 5-7:30; admission free after 5. Then come back for the museum’s Sportacular Weekend (Saturday and Sunday), where the family can learn about world sports, fitness and nutrition and the athletes of the animal world (maybe even some aquatic?) through two all-day schedules of demonstrations, activities, lessons and music. 11:30 to 5, both days.

Red Shed Community Garden (266 Skillman Ave. at Kingsland Ave.) in Williamsburg is holding a mega BBQ/benefit on Saturday, with $2 hot dogs, $3 burgers and sausages, free salads and sides, a raffle for dinners and services, a book swap and, oh, yeah, you get to see the workings of an urban organic garden. 1-6 p.m.

Sunday brings the kickoff the Jelly NYC Pool Parties at their new home in East River State Park (no pool here, but there’s some water nearby, so they kept the name). Still, there’ll be DODGEBALL, basketball, food and of course the DJs and bands. Sunday’s line up includes Mission of Burma, F***ed Up, Ponytail and Jemina Pearl. Gates open at 2 p.m., 90 Kent Ave. at N. 9th St.

We’re going to bring our hand-knit dog bonnets to commune with the Etsy-istas (seemingly everyone in Brooklyn these days) at the Renegade Craft Fair, tomorrow and Sunday from 11 to 7 at McCarren Park in Williamsburg.

Finally, there’s a Recession Survival Fair, where you can get all kinds of helpful information about surviving that pesky global financial meltdown we try not to dwell on too much around here. (If you like to dwell on it, however, may we recommend the fine site, Recessionwire.com.) The r-word fair is sponsored by Brooklyn for Barack along with the Stuyvesant Heights Parents Association, Saturday from 11 to 4 at the Brooklyn Brownstone School, 272 MacDonough St. at Lewis Ave. in  Bed-Stuy.