Apparently, they haven't heard of Fox's.

So there’s this site called Xpatulator that runs cost of living comparisons of the 950 cities/regions worldwide where someone might move to from somewhere else. They just came out with a worldwide cost of living report, and there is one especially curious data point about Brooklyn.

Our borough is not only home to the Man Bun, but the world’s fifth most expensive place for clothing. It is pricier to buy clothes only in Minsk, Manhattan, Belarus (all areas) and Sao Paolo. Paris is #39. London is #82. Moscow, where they wear fur socks and underwear (don’t they?)  is #21. And sorry, Giorgio, lowly Milan is way down there at #264.

Clothing on Xpatulator is described as “clothing and footwear products, business suits, casual clothing, childrens clothing and footwear, coats and hats, evening wear, shoe repairs, and underwear.” Sounds reasonable enough. But how is this possible?

Brooklyn of the Kurt Cobain sweaters and stoop-sale jeans? We have gobs of Bobby’s, Cookies, Rainbows, all of Church Avenue, and those places with the pink bags (not Conran’s, but… help us out… Conway). But there’s only one Barneys — and it’s a Coop. The J. Crew creative director lives here, but she’s selling her place. Is there a boutique in Bay Ridge selling diamond-encrusted thongs that we don’t know about?

We wrote to the site for clarification, but their offices are in Cyprus. (Maybe they’re factoring travel time to Hayden Harnett?)

In the meantime, here’s a link to Xpatulator’s overall cost of living index for Brooklyn, and our rankings in other categories below. At least our subways count for something:

Overall Cost of Living rank: 29
Clothing: 5
Restaurants, Meals Out and Hotel: 11
Personal care: 27
Furniture and appliances: 34
Household accomodation: 37
Recreation and culture: 37
Food: 39
Alcohol & Tobacco costs: 60
Education: 102
Healthcare: 142
Communications: 350
Transportation: 388

Also, Brooklyn’s overall hardship ranking is only 10 percent, which is relative good news. But don’t they know SOUTHPAW IS CLOSING?

From the preview photos, this ambitious collection does look pretty zig-a-zag ha (especially the bike), but then, they all do. Seriously, have you ever seen a Target collaboration that looked as good in real life?  The Rodarte stuff looked like goth skating dresses. Anya Hindmarch’s squeaky patent pleather bags didn’t whisper Anya Hindmarch so much as scream Target. And so on.

You’d think that a budget blog would be all over these high-low fashion smashups, but allow me to air a petty grievance: they’re patronizing.

Just as an EZ Bake oven isn’t an actual oven and a Like a Bike isn’t an actual bike, Missoni for Target isn’t actually Missoni. It’s something else entirely.

If Thomas Keller did a sandwich for McDonalds, would he still be Thomas Keller — one of the originators of the artisanal and garden fresh food movement? No, he would be Wolfgang Puck, who is probably much richer than Keller because he hawks frozen pizzas. Would Jaguar ever design a special edition Hyundai? No, because you simply cannot render a Jag in the cheap ingredients used to make a Hyundai. A Chloé bag wrought in imitation leather simply isn’t a Chloé bag anymore.

I have loads of stuff from Target, like everyone else, but only a few legit designer things. Two of them happen to be Missoni items that I scored at off price, from Loehmann’s and Gilt Groupe. To me, those were finds, crumbs tossed off the table of the royal banquet, and I had to stretch to swing them even at a discount.

If everyone’s invited to the feast, what’s the point in sneaking in? Like celebrities, luxury icons like Missoni were built on aspiration and mythology, which is why the whole idea of Missoni for Target feels like a bit of a con job. And once a designer rolls out a Target line, I for one don’t fantasize about the real stuff anymore.

Not for a moment would I begrudge anyone who buys this line; it’s cute. And Missoni should hardly care what I think, because this collection is going to sell out in a fraction of a microsecond.

Donatella Versace once said at a lecture that she’d never do a Target line because it would dilute the Versace name. Can you imagine a Target line from hardcore luxury brands like YSL, Prada, Louis Vuitton or Hermes? No, because it alters their fundamental DNA once everyone can get their hands on it.

Will I ever own a single piece from one of those fashion houses? Probably not — unless they rolled out lite versions at Target. But then you still couldn’t convince me that I actually did.

Follow Faye: @fayepenn

Photo from Racked NY

Sort of like “cash for clunkers” for denim, Gap’s smack in the middle of an incentivized recycling program for your jeans. Bring an old pair of jeans, of any brand, to a Gap store through Wednesday, Oct. 20, and Gap will give take 30 percent off a new pair from their 1969 collection. Go one step further and “like” Gap on Facebook, and 30 percent turns to 40. The program, called Recycle Your Blues, isn’t only to refresh your drawers—all donated jeans will be used as home-insulation to keep people warm this winter. Here’s how it works, in case you can’t quite picture it.

Again, the recycling’s through Friday, Oct. 20, and only in stores, of which Brooklyn has three:

Marine Park/Mill Basin Gap, 5100 Kings Plaza, 718-253-1125; Bay Ridge Gap, 423 86th St., 718-833-6621; Bensonhurst Gap, 2101 86th St., 718-372-3170.

via Racked NY

Bird is having a benefit party for City Harvest at its three Brooklyn stores, featuring raffle prizes from Frankie’s Spuntino, The Farm on Adderly, Blue Ribbon, Brooklyn social, and other places we’d love to win a raffle ticket to — plus 15 percent off all merch, which includes labels like Alexander Wang, Martin Margiela and A.P.C. Watch the wine if you want to emerge with your credit score intact. Stores in Park Slope, Cobble Hill and Williamsburg. Click here for addresses.

Re/Dress NYC, an ample gal’s vintage and modern resale shop, is throwing a party/protest: Fill out a postcard or video blog to sponsor the campaign that’s highlighting the lack of attention paid to size 14s. Everyone who participates gets a shopping incentive and the first 50 guests get a gift bag. 109 Boerum Pl., between Pacific and Dean Sts., Boerum Hill.

Hayden-Harnett is having a live broadcast with Newtown Radio while you have drinks with the designers and a chance to win $250 gift certificate, scarf or Ibiza tote. 211 Franklin St. at Freeman St., Greenpoint.

Dalaga will have champagne, free totes and Brooklyn designers on-hand. Any purchase puts you in the raffle to win a $200 goodie bag. 150 Franklin St. between Kent St. and Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint.

In God We Trust will have free tattoos, caricatures and custom wallet stamping along with drinks and a dj. Also, in collaboration with The Parlour Brooklyn, there will be straight razor shaves. 70 Greenpoint Ave. Greenpoint.

Kingdom, home of Brooklyn Royalty, is throwing a blowout event at the Knitting Factory with live music, video, photography, models and designers, specialty cocktails and more. 361 Metropolitan Ave. at Havemeyer Ave. and N. 4th St., Williamsburg.

Market Publique‘s the place to show off your own fashion that night out: Get your outfit photographed by one of their street style photographers to win a gift certificate in the Best Outfit Contest. 177 N. 10th St. between Bedford and Driggs Aves., Williamsburg.

Sir will be featuring a “window set” by singer Alexa Wilding, along with designer Joanna Baum and new collection from the SOCIETY of LES. 129 Bedford Ave. at N. 10th St., Williamsburg.

Ms. Dahlia's pastries & cakes

It’s the original stomping ground of Jay-Z, Chris Rock, Lil’ Kim and that old ear-biter, Mike Tyson. It’s the showcase for epic wall art, gorgeous brownstones and some old-school, no-frills block parties. It’s Bed-Stuy. And in recent years, this chunk of Brooklyn has birthed a crop of seriously clutch (and cheap) spots to dine, drink and shop… on top of all the incredible, long-standing neighborhood staples. We know the secret’s been out for a while, but here are 10 deals we love in Bed-Stuy.

FUEL-UP FOR THE DAY One of several great new spots at Classon & Greene Aves., Pilar Cuban Eatery (393 Classon Ave. between Greene & Clifton) serves up traditional Cuban breakfast ($2 pastries, breakfast sandwich for $2.50-$4), lunch bites (empanadas for $4-$5) and daily dinner specials. Tiny Cup (279 Nostrand Ave. between Clifton Pl. & Lafayette Ave.) oozes art-house, with free Wi-Fi and the strongest espresso around… along with hefty breakfast panini for $3, delish french toast for $3.75 and a loaded hummus plate for $5.50. Ms. Dahlia’s Cafe (449 Nostrand Ave. between Halsey St. & Hancock St.) serves a stellar deal for morning commuters en route to the subway: $1 coffee with any pastry purchase. Swing by on your way home and get half-off any pastry after 5 pm.

Breakfast at Pilar

TWO SPOTS FOR CHEAP THREADS Though some may argue that this pick belongs to Clinton Hill (a mere 10-foot technicality, at best), The Salvation Army (22 Quincy St. between Classon Ave. & Downing St.) is enormous, clean, chock-full of high-end finds and well-organized (clothing is even separated by color). The already rock-bottom prices are further slashed by a daily special for half-off all clothes of a designated color. Even better are Family Wednesdays (open to all), when everything  is half-off. You may also recognize the space as the backdrop for Dave Chappelle’s 2005 Block Party.

Collecther (306 Franklin Ave. at Lafayette) is a quirky boutique boasting women’s and men’s vintage fashions, including bags and a surprisingly large selection of sunglasses. Owner Shana has a keen curator’s eye and is always helpful with suggestions. Dresses range from $20-$45, men’s shirts average $20, and the Sunday “recessionista” special is key—all dresses are priced at $25, with 25% off everything else in the store.

Browse at Collecther

And while you’re out and about, take a breather at the positively Zen Vietnamese spot Tigerlily (299 Greene Ave. between Classon & Franklin). Sandwiches go for $6.50, salads for $5.50 and the inventive shakes are totally worth the $4.50 splurge on a hot day (think: papaya, pineapple and ginger or strawberry, lychee and mint, among others).

HAPPY HOURS WITH BENEFITS A local staple, Amarachi Lounge (325 Franklin Ave. between Clifton Pl. & Greene Ave.), is a cavernous space sporting a billiards room, flat-screen TVs throughout and a disco-ball-accented dance floor in the back. Weekday happy hours feature 2-for-1 drinks from 6-8. Colador Cafe (1000 Bedford Ave. between DeKalb & Lafayette Aves.) doubles as a coffee/Wi-FI spot by day and a haven for cheap drinks and eats by night—with a new $3 bottled beer special each week, Cream Ale and PBRs for $1 and a free beer and fries with any burger purchase.

With little more than a signboard out front, Project Parlor (742 Myrtle Ave. between Sanford St. & Nostrand Ave.) has a helipad-sized space in back. Happy hour from 5-8 includes $2 PBRs and a PBR & a shot for $6. There’s also a BBQ competition hosted out-back every Sunday, where plates go for around $5. Sweet Revenge (358 Franklin Ave. between Greene & Lexington Aves.) is also in on the happy hour-meets-BBQ game, slinging $4 well drinks, $3 shot-and-draft-beer pairings and $5 frozen margaritas from 4-8 daily. Anytime specials include $5 shots + a can of beer, and the sand-covered, tiki bar-rimmed backyard is home to a new grill menu every Saturday and Sunday from 3-11 (plates average $5-$8).

Later, some Sweet Revenge

Carrie McLaren (of Hawthorne Street fame), is behind the store-to-be, and she’s looking for used clothing for fall and winter (girls and boys up to size 8), books, baby carriers, shoes, DVDs and toys & puzzles with all the pieces. The clothing must be clean and in excellent condition, and the store’s especially interested in premium basics (Gap) and boutique labels (Tea Collection, European brands, etc.).

Come this fall, Monk’s Trunk will be located near the Q/B trains at Parkside. To make an appointment for pick-up, call Carrie at 718-398-9324 or email her at brooklynite282@gmail.com.

Our standard clothing-swap photo, by Jenene Chesbrough. It has no connection to this event.

Kioka, organizer of the Brooklyn Clothing Exchange, writes in to tell us about a clothing swap in Bed-Stuy this weekend. The details:

Saturday March 13, noon – 4 p.m. at Brooklyn Public Library, Macon Branch
361 Lewis Ave. at Macon Street, Stuyvesant Heights, Brooklyn, 718-573-5606
A to Utica
B15 to Macon or B25, B26 to Lewis

Bring at least one bag of clean clothing. For other rules, see the Brooklyn Clothing Exchange’s MySpace page.

Last winter's sale. Photo by Katya Wachtel.

Warning: this post isn’t for everyone. But if you’re a designer-label obsessive and you still have disposable income (congrats!), get to bed early tonight. Tomorrow, starting at 8 a.m., is the first day of the biannual Barneys Warehouse Sale, which is the retail scrum of the year for bargain-loving fashionites, with clothing, shoes, accessories and housewares marked 50 to 75 percent off.

Bargains being a relative term, of course. Last year, on a magazine mission to find Christian Louboutins at the sale, I scouted a pair of red patent ankle-strap stilettos for $310 (originally $780), white patent wedges for $260 ($625), and camel slingbacks for $230 ($625). And so on. There were also loads of Miu Miu, Prada, Lanvin and YSL shoes, also for less than half the original prices.

For those who can swing it this year, my best advice is to get there early. Last year, I arrived at 7:26 and was 79th in line. The first person turned up at 6 a.m. Most everyone made a b-line for the shoes, and veterans wore flip-flops and carried backpacks so as not to worry about their purses.

Other tips: If you plan to try on clothing, wear underwear that’s fit for public viewing. Ask yourself: Am I okay to appear on the Internet like this? Hardcore combatants strip in the aisles, and you never know who has a cellphone camera. Also, don’t bring babies. They won’t enjoy it, and you might lose them.

With the luxury market in the crapper, it’s a good bet that the pickings will be pretty good tomorrow, but you never know until the doors open, especially since Barneys started doing a warehouse sale in San Francisco this year, and they got first crack. (Fortunately, the Los Angeles sale is after New York’s.) Racked usually has good sale coverage, so if you can’t make the opening bell, try checking their site by mid-morning. Good luck.

Barneys New York Warehouse Sale, 255 W. 17th St. between Seventh and Eight Avenues, 212-450-8400. Thursday, August 20, through Monday, September. Tomorrow and Friday, August 21, 8 a.m. to 9 pm. Weekdays, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.. Weekends, 10 am. to 7 p.m. Monday, September 7, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Brooklyn's Tracie Howarth, an Etsy success story. Photo by Patrick Fagan.

Maybe you knit or throw pottery. Or make jewelry out of Phillips screw heads. Or crochet hamster huts (that makes three of you). Maybe all you ever wanted was to sell your handiwork and never work for anyone else, ever.

You may have heard that all you have to do is open your own shop on Etsy.com, the online marketplace that aims to provide artists with the technology they need to “make a living, making things.” You simply upload product shots, tack on prices, write cute captions, then wait for those millions of members to start placing orders.

It sounds perfect. And easy. But it’s not. More than 250,000 shops sell roughly 3.7 million items (and counting), with untold numbers of merchants making only a handful of sales, if that many. Though Etsy provides would-be sellers with myriad tips and tools for success, it’s tough to stand out in the crowd.

Etsy’s Brooklyn roots go way back to 2005, when the site—conceived by artist and carpenter Rob Kalin and built by Kalin, Chris Maguire and Haim Schoppik—got its start in Fort Greene. Currently headquartered downtown, it will soon move to Dumbo.

Today, it attracts members from all over the U.S. and 150 other countries, and according to Etsy’s Adam Brown, the top-selling categories tend to be jewelry, art, accessories, clothing and crafting supplies for DIY-ers.

One of Brooklyn’s most successful Etsians, Tracie Howarth, sells jewelry-making supplies to other artists. Since joining Etsy in 2006, she’s generated over 24,000 supply sales through epochbeads.etsy.com and over 7,600 through thatsmycharm.etsy.com, and markets her unique designs on athd.etsy.com.

She lists over 600 items across the three Etsy shops and employs three staff—two to help at her booth on weekends in the Artists & Fleas market in Williamsburg and one in her Williamsburg studio to help with Etsy inventory and fulfillment. When asked if she sells full time, Howarth says, “I sell overtime.” She estimates that she grosses about $130,000, mostly from selling supplies, though due to significant expenses, nets $35,000. It’s enough to keep her in business for herself, the other passion that drives her.

Tracie Howarth's jewelry parts. Photo by Patrick Fagan.

For those who are still at step one—figuring out what to sell—experts say a cohesive line will do better than a whole bunch of disparate items. Products with a trendy element will sooner get noticed by bloggers like Design*Sponge‘s Grace Bonney, who can sell out an entire Etsy store with a single post.

“In this economy, I’d focus on selling small things that look expensive,” says Bonney. “There’s a lot of the whole popsicle sticks and yarn on Etsy. You’ve got to separate yourself from those people.”

Bonney says it’s also important to keep your prices low, because there will always be someone selling a similar item for less. “I personally wouldn’t sell anything over $50 on Etsy unless it was a one-of-a-kind painting,” she says. “Paper goods and ceramics do really well right now because they’re affordable and people don’t have to change the look of their house to incorporate them.” (Bonney, by the way, is a big fan these days of JeanPelle.etsy.com.)

Jean Pelle's candleholders caught Design*Sponge's attention.

Etsy has a host of resources for would-be sellers, including The DO’s and DON’T’s of Etsy amd the Seller Handbook.

All of them will tell you that choosing a username is the single most important decision you can make—it becomes your shop name when you open a seller account. “The most common problem is that sellers choose a shop name and then want to change it later,” says Adam Brown, Etsy’s press rep. “You can create a new account, but your customer feedback, etc. can’t be moved to that account.”

Choose a name that’s short—one or two words are best—and easy to remember. Troy Mattison Hicks, who sells original designs through necklush.etsy.com, says, “We wanted to come up with something that identified the product, sort of the way people use Band-Aid to refer to a bandage. We wanted that when you see a necklush, you call it a necklush.”

In case you were wondering, this is a necklush.

As important as a strong name is good photography. Bright, crisp, clear photos help make your items feature-friendly. Go for natural lighting, close-ups, angles and cropping; place your items against uncluttered backgrounds and avoid graphics and text; use live models when appropriate.

Bonney suggests hiring a good product photographer: “That’s the biggest investment you’ll make, and it pays off ten-fold,” she says. “If you can’t take a good picture, it’s not going to sell. A lot of people put their stuff on a black background and send you a sad little photo.  I will write an email saying I like your work but these images are totally not up to snuff.”

When it comes to your listings, use them to tell a story. Be quirky, personal and descriptive. Bring your item to life by illustrating how it might become part of the buyer’s home or pondering what it might mean to someone receiving it as a gift. The connection to the seller is what Etsy buyers look for—otherwise, they’d go shopping at Target.

Once you launch your shop, it’s important to continually refine it. Brooklyn’s Alison Shanik, who sells embroidered keepsake cards and wall pieces through kingpopcorn.etsy.com, notes, “I opened up my Etsy shop right away, but took my time about fine-tuning cards and listing them. It takes a lot of time to plan out the general appearance of your shop.”

One of Allison Skanik's hand-sewn cards.

Shanik, who has grossed about $600 in Etsy sales so far this year, considers herself “a serious maker who is a half-serious seller,” too busy creating to worry right now about growing her business. “I’m not overwhelmed by orders, but they’re not non-existent either,” she says.

Even if you think you’ve chosen the best name, assembled an irresistible product line, photographed your items just so—you have to promote yourself, either by frequently re-listing items or purchasing a spot in one of Etsy’s fee-based showcases.

In addition to a 3.5 percent transaction fee per sale, Etsy makes money by charging sellers for listings—$0.20 per item for a four-month listing—and fees to gain exposure in Etsy’s online galleries.

Each time you list an item (post an item’s name, description, price, etc., and tag it for searchability) it could show up in the Recently Listed Items section on the home page. You can re-list them, and experienced sellers do. Necklush’s Troy Mattison Hicks gives himself a daily $2.00 budget, equivalent to relisting ten times. “Spread your listings out through the day so they can be seen whenever people pop on to look around,” he says.

There’s also a sellers-only advertising program called the Showcase. A one-day spot on the front-page homepage Showcase costs $15, and a spot on the Storque showcase is $7.

Another way to boost sales is by using social networking tools, such as Twitter and Facebook, and by increasing your Etsy profile by posting comments, ideas and questions in the Forums.

Most important of all is getting name-checked on someone else’s blog. Bonney receives 300 submissions daily at Design*Sponge, many of them from Etsy artists eager to be featured on her site. It’s understandable why. “A blog’s sales effect is pretty easy to track,” she says. “People write us and say, ‘Holy crap, I just sold out!’ ” Bonney also recommends ohjoy.com and poppytalk.blogspot.com, two other design blogs that frequently profile Etsy sellers. While you’re at it, why not use Etsy as a springboard to pitch yourself to the MoMA store? “They constantly troll Etsy for talent,” Bonney says.

Finally, don’t rule out the flea market circuit just because you’re on Etsy. Kristin Raphael, also from Brooklyn, opened her shop ttintin.etsy.com in January and has made one sale from her line of $39 baby and toddler dresses. “I joined Etsy because I knew I should have an online presence,” she says, “but I do better at street fairs and outdoor markets.”

Says Alison Shanik: “Etsy is wonderful because it’s affordable but you can easily disappear into its sea, whereas craft fairs are wonderful because of the direct exposure but require a bit of investment.” They do bring you face-to-face with your prospective buyer, who, if she doesn’t buy something at your booth, may come back and visit you online at Etsy.