Maybe everyone else has been doing this forever, and if so, feel free to skip ahead to the Punderdome post. But if you haven’t partaken of the Brooklyn Public Library’s eBook catalog, you’re missing out on the deeply satisfying experience of enjoying free — not to mention spooge-free — books without leaving home. I just downloaded my first free-for-14-days BPL eBook, a buzzy new non-fiction release, minus the groady plastic cover and burrito drippings. (I can’t say what title it was because I’m Facebook friends with the author and only a total cheapass doesn’t buy their friends’ books.) To read BPL loaners on a mobile device, you have to download either the Kindle or the OverDrive reader app, which is to brand-name readers as Coby electronics are to Sony. I’m not exactly sure if or how you return the books, but I can let you know in 13 days. UPDATE: Commenter Cathmary12 says the books simply disappear at the end of the loan period, so that can only mean no overdue fines accrue. Could this get any better?

What’s more, there are plenty of hot, current reads among the catalog’s 20,000 titles. As a random exercise, I went looking in the BPL catalog for Barnes & Noble’s top 10 bestselling fiction titles. (We all know you n+1 snoots don’t care what B&N readers buy, but I’m hardly going to plug in some indie bookstore’s list and stick it to them in this post.) Some books had waiting lists — kind of cute that the library makes you get in line to download eBooks — but in terms of titles, the library went eight for 10 with B&N, minus the Island of Lost Girls and Immanuel’s Veins. Darn! The library also all kinds of films and videos one needs patience to peruse, like a random selection of TV series including WNET elephant specials galore and every episode of The Whitest Kids U Know. Anyway, have at it. That’s our shameless plug for hygienic, convenient and free eBooks and videos from a fine cultural institution we should all patronize. (You’re such a nice library!)

Donating books is cool: just ask actor Lavar Burton.

Do you really need both paperback and hardcover versions of all the Dan Brown books you own? You probably can rid yourself of those raw-food cookbooks from your dirty hippie ex too. Be generous, green and ready for wholesome fun by donating those books to The Great American Book Drive on Saturday! The drive benefits Brooklyn Public Library and Better World Books, and will be from 10am-3pm, outside of BPL at Grand Army Plaza. Since its founding in 2003, Better World Books has raised more than $10 million for libraries and literacy projects by reselling books online, donated and recycled more than 62 million books and reached 29,000 tons of carbon offsets. So yes, feel compelled to donate your books for literacy and the environment. You’ll also be treated to a performance of non-grating children’s’ music by Spanglish band Moona Luna, and tempted to replenish your clutter at the used book sale. But don’t take ourword for it…

Walt Whitman library, now open longer. Photo by Flickr's Paul Lowry

It seems like all the news about our public libraries is negative these days, so here’s something to brighten up your fall: Beginning Sept. 10, Brooklyn Public Library locations will be expanding their hours and adding days. More than half of the libraries will be open six days a week, and the library is increasing average weekly hours by more than eight hours per library. For example, the Brooklyn Heights library will now be open from 10am-8pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, instead of opening at 1pm; while the library over in Clinton Hill will now be open Mondays from 10-6 instead of being closed. Each branch is different so check the full list here. Don’t forget: your library doubles as a sweet-ass discount card too!

House of Vans parties: always fun, always free.

The rains may dampen your plans this week, but the outdoors doesn’t have exclusive rights to free summer activities. Start off this week inside with an author talk at the Brooklyn Public Library featuring Sapphire, the author of Push and its new sequel The Kid, or pop in to the Franklin Park Reading Series (which features $4 pints). A rainy Tuesday is the perfect day to finally check out those weekly tastings at Bierkraft in Park Slope where you can sample five or six different beers. Thursday you can seek shelter inside the penultimate Vans House Party show featuring Against Me!, Japanther and Tokyo Police Club. Here’s hoping the sun returns by the weekend so you can check out the Go Folk Yourself Summer Fest at Cooper Park on Saturday or take the kids down to Jam On Dumbo, a festival of local family friendly bands, featuring puppeteers, face painting and more. See the rest of this week’s free offerings on our free summer calendar!

The app also works for many other types of cards, such as student/teacher IDs (15 percent off at Madewell, 20 percent at Banana Republic) and AAA. Haven’t gotten around to getting a Brooklyn Library card yet? What the heck, yo? You can do it online.

Matilda. The Truth.

Do you remember summer reading lists from yonder summer vacations? What a perfect — and free  — way to pass the hot days, scouting through your air-conditioned library for the next Roald Dahl (Matilda is still my jam). This month instead of sweating your way through jort after jort, you could spend time helping kids to read in two of the most reliably air conditioned places: libraries and department stores. Through the end of July, Macy’s customers who give $3 to help provide a book for kids get $10 off a purchase of $50 (all of the $3 goes to Reading is Fundamental too). And starting at 1pm today, you can enter to win prizes and Macy’s gift cards at a special promotion at the Grand Army Plaza branch.

Macy’s and Reading is Fundamental have partnered together since 2004 to raise more than $16 million to support children’s literacy. Last year, the partnership provided 3.6 million free books to more than 1.2 million children.

Today’s special event at the main branch at Grand Army Plaza features “BB the smart car” to encourage participation in Reading is Fundamental and give away prizes, including Macy’s gift cards.

The local Reading is Fundamental program consists of a weekly event in the central branch’s Youth Wing and in each of the 58 neighborhood libraries. Each year, more than 120,000 free books are chosen by babies, children and teens throughout Brooklyn to start their own home library.

Even dummies like the library. We Will Not be Shushed photo via Flickr's dory kornfeld

They’re ain’t no party like a library party, because a library party don’t stop. Except, of course, when it is forced to stop if the city’s proposed budget cuts go through, possibly slashing some $25 million from the Brooklyn Public Library. Which is the reason for this non-stop party in the first place. This Saturday into Sunday, the Save NYC Libraries campaign will gather on the steps of the Grand Army Plaza branch for its We Will Not Be Shushed 24-hour Read-In. The event includes public readings to show support for the library and bring attention to the budget cuts. Sign up here because it’s Dewey (Decimal System) or die time!

9pm: tonight’s nerd night presentations at galapagos cover ‘astronomy, bistable images (you know that picture of a cube that looks like either side of it could be in front), and reduced caloric intake’. $10.

9pm: get pumped for sunday’s veggie pride parade at the veggie prom. free vegan snacks + desserts. public assembly, $10 adv, $15 door.

SATURDAY
10am-4pm: corn! mojitos! live tunes! fort greene’s habana outpost gets a jump start on summer at their annual block party. free.

10am-4pm: it’s love your library day! support carroll gardens library at a book and bake sale. plus, a silent auction, author readings, more. free.

12-5pm: reenactments, ship replica, rides, crafts, food, more at the scandinavian east coast museum’s viking fest. bliss/owls’ head park (bay ridge).

1pm, connie o’s (greenpoint) opens their new backyard area with free burgers (inc. veggie), hot dogs, and $1 beer.

2-6pm: make 3d plastic replicas of just about anything at 3rd ward’s makerbot make-a-thon. free (rsvp).

10:30pm: belt out current indie and classic punk songs when austin’s karaoke underground comes to the rock shop, $5.

SUNDAY
12-5pm: park slope’s annual ‘fabulous’ fifth avenue street fair returns with live music, crafts, food from local vendors, more. sterling place to 12th street.

1:30pm: 10,000 marchers and 100,000 spectators make up the 60th annual norwegian constitution day parade in bay ridge. 5th ave bet 89th + 67th st.

3-7pm: the bell house’s state fair series continues with oregon: a blackberry pie cook-off, oregon brews (just $3 with oregon id), trivia, a bigfoot contest, more. free.

ALL WEEKEND
12-6pm: take a self-guided tour of sonya (south of the navy yard artists) members’ studios and galleries (fort freene, clinton hill, wallabout and bedford stuyvesant), free

the new york photo festival takes over dumbo with exhibitions, lectures, more. $15/day.

Listings brought to you by the skint.