Wouldn't your mom love her very own avatar?

So it’s kind of a Hallmark holiday—you want a card with that perfect “thank you” that puts a tear in your mom’s eye and lets her know you love her, and you didn’t mean to not call her back for a month. Gifts are good too, and the show-your-love clock is ticking, so you need something good, fast. And not too expensive. We’ve all gone the last-minute, impersonal route—the candle, the soaps the Amazon gift card. But just because it’s, like Thursday, doesn’t mean it’s too late to do something more interesting. Here are 10 suggestions:

1) Take care of the next few Mother’s Days too. Maybe this one is more for you, but the idea is to set yourself up for future gifts. For example, get her a French press coffee maker—then you can give her a bag of good coffee every time you want to thank her. More ideas: the first book/DVD in a box set, a scent from Fresh (she’ll love it; next year she gets the lotion) or a charm necklace. The first gift is the splurge, but then you only have to add to it for every other holiday forever.

2) Skip brunch and take her out for cocktails instead. It’s not really fun to be surrounded by tons of kids in a noisy restaurant. Take her out to eat the night before and make it fun. Go out for margaritas or a cheese plate with a nice glass of Rose. If you won’t be together this weekend, offer to visit soon, with a plan like this as part of the deal. She probably knows she’s always invited, but an earnest (um, hopefully) reminder will make her feel special. Take her to The Castello Plan in Ditmas Park or Fort Greene’s No. 7.

3) Make her feel cool. Or rather, awesome. Put up a picture of her on My Parents Were Awesome. The past tense might be a little offensive, but, I mean, how often has she told you that you used to be sweet?

4) Help her start a blog. Show your mom how personal and helpful blogs can be (have her go through the blogroll of just one or two sites, like CoolMomPicks, and she’ll probably have that moment you did when you realized the internet was bigger and also more personal that you could ever imagine). That’s step one. Then help her get started with her own. She can always start with one of these, and make sure to follow through with the ongoing process, so you’re part of it with her. Just remember to drive home that one mommy blogger cardinal rule: no naked baby pics of you.

5) Bring the Genius Bar to her desk. Ok, maybe not genius, but there’s probably more you know about the internets than she does. Offer up your services, and don’t forget to tack on patience and and positive attitude free of charge. The last time I did this I found out my mom had three iPod shuffles because she didn’t know you could take songs on and off. If you live far away, guide her through the Skype download on the phone (“click download”).

6) Give her a scrapbook of all-grown-up you. There are probably tons of photo albums and scrapbooks from when you were little. But start a photo album or scrapbook for her of you now. Put in some pictures that you have from the past year (if you remember how to print photos anymore), and throw in some captions and stickers too, just like old times.

7) Give her an Avatar. At Design-her Gals, you can make a little avatar of your mom (or yourself) and put it on mugs, aprons, business cards, stationary, etc. It’s affordable ($14-$35 for mugs to aprons, with some added fees for customizing), and it’s really fun.

8) Show her you know what mom-hood means. Give her Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak, a new guide book for working mothers. Brooklynite mom and writer Amy Sohn told us it is hilarious and very smart, and “teaches you that there is no way to have it all.” So maybe your mom doesn’t need to be taught that, but it’s always nice to hear that it’s true for everyone.

9) Put an end to the boring body work. She’s had the mani, the pedi, the stone massage and the aromatherapy. How about getting your mom a nice beating? No, really. A platza! It’s $44 for 15 minutes (that’s an ample amount of time, trust me!) at Body by Brooklyn. Time-out has lots of other great unique spa ideas. And for the recent or soon-to-be moms in your life, Indigo Pilates Studio in Park Slope is offering free pre-natal and post-partum mat classes this Saturday, May 8, and Monday, May 10.

10) Give her something she wouldn’t buy herself. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. Sometimes it’s just nice to get something fun. Like these wallflowers (25 for $39) from A & G Merch. Fun, not necessary—and appreciated: what this day is all about!

Yep, Brokelyn was one of the 60 individuals and groups honored by Marty at his State of the Borough address last night, an esteemed bunch that included novelist Amy Sohn; Brooklyn Flea founders Jonathan Butler and Eric Demby and the owners of the new Elvis-inspired Graceland Brooklyn hair salon, Corvette Hunt and Bethany Paul.

Blake Harrison, whose “Flocabulary”—a rap-style way of teaching language, math and even Shakespeare—is now in 10,000 schools nationwide got props alongside P.S. 272 principal, Dakota Keyes, who turned her F-rated Canarsie elementary school into an A in a short time. Speaking of miracles, Gravesend’s Joseph Tiralosi, who shocked his docs by coming back to life 45 minutes after his heart had stopped beating during a cardiac arrest, got a big shout-out too. “I can’t think of another example of Brooklyn’s ‘never say die,’ attitude,” Marty said.

Another terrible iPhone picture of the swearing in, this time on the jumbotron.

We were also honored to share a stage with Mohamed Salem, Brooklyn’s only known Muslim owner of a kosher deli (salami aleikum!) and Mohammed Hashan, a sandwich-shop employee who refused to return Lindsay Lohan’s  lost Blackberry without first demanding to see her ID. “To make sure that something valuable was really in the hands of its rightful owner—that’s Brooklyn values!” Marty proclaimed.

Of us, the Beep said that “smart money says this popular venture will far outlast the recession itself.” Thanks, Marty! The not-so-smart money says so too.

Get motivated, or not.

Our favorite motivational speaker of all time remains Matt Foley, the greasy haired tub of energy who lived in a VAN down by the RIVER (though a close second may soon be Method Man). But tonight in a studio down by the river, you can find some of our newest favorite non-motivational speakers as part of Gelf Magazine’s free recurring series. Speakers are Amy Sohn, star author and bête noire of the Park Slope strollerati; Baruch Herzfeld, Orthodox bike shop owner and de facto Henry Kissinger of the Hasid-Hipster Williamsburg Wars; and Dr. Jay Parkinson, Brooklyn’s handsome bearded “digital doctor“—founder of Hello Health and one of Esquire’s 2009 Best and Brightest “Radicals and Rebels Who Are Changing the World.”

What will these three have in common to talk about? No idea, but Gelf magazine tells us: “As always, booze will be below-market and easy thrills free.” And if you can get motivated about anything, it’s free events with low-grade depressants.

JLA Studios (Google Maps, Outside.In), 63 Pearl St. (between Water St. and Front St.), Doors open at 7 p.m., event starts at 7:30.

As the author of a memoir of good food and bad boyfriends entitled I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti, I am an Italian cook, proud of my palate, if not my taste in men. I’ve hosted such competitions before and can tell you, because I’ve tried all of them, where in Brooklyn the best mozzarella (Lioni Latticini), and the best Italian sausage (M&S Prime Meats) can be found. I am also somewhat frugal—something to do with my father and Italy after the war—and believe that the brand of olive oil I regularly buy on sale at my local Key Food is perfectly fine. When Faye Penn, Brokelyn’s editor, suggested we do this competition, I jumped at the chance—happy for the opportunity to make sure I was throwing the few dollars I invest in olive oil in the right direction.

Amy Sohn, a woman who clearly has her priorities in order, took time out from her busy publicity schedule to taste oil. Her latest novel, Prospect Park West, a local sensation, had been published a few days earlier. Michael Idov, who wrote a stunning debut novel entitled Ground Up, was another author who probably drank a little too much the evening before a big reading—though all that olive oil must have been good for our voices, at least.

Faye brought her husband, Joel, and The Brokavore, Brokelyn’s obsessively cheap foodie, and everyone who had children brought them. I don’t pay much attention to children, even when they might be destroying my apartment (which one of them dubbed “fancy;” I liked that a lot). I’m guessing there were five or six of them running around my three rooms or drawing pictures of cats on the index cards I provided for our tasting notes.

I am Italian-American, born and raised in Brooklyn, thank you very much. When people come to my apartment for an olive oil tasting, they’re not just going to get olive oil. I served a bunch of different white wines and a spread of antipasti. When all the tasters arrived I poured six brands of oil into fancy bowls marked by a visible letter and a hidden number that corresponded to a bottle in the kitchen. No one knew what they were tasting. I distributed cards for the tasters to write their impressions. People were supposed to keep quiet as they tasted, but they couldn’t help but blurt out opinions, me especially.

Still, with all the talk filling up the room I didn’t get the sense that there were any clear favorites. It when I collected the grading cards strewn about my living room, that I got a sense of what the crowd liked. I will report that finding for the sake of scientific inquiry, but I will unscientifically tell you that they are wrong.

Comparing olives oils is a terrific challenge. Some of the oils were good because they were mild and fruity, others because they were bold and spicy. Which to declare better was mainly a matter of taste. What you might be preparing is another factor to take into account when choosing between these oils. You wouldn’t want something peppery on an arugula salad—that green’s got enough going on already—but it might be great on romaine. The worst of the oils had many of the same qualities as the good ones marred by sharp fronts or rough finishes, which went unnoticed by some of our tasters. Yes, even the unknown el cheapo brands thrown into the mix as wild cards had their fans.

Shockingly, the brand that received a unanimous thumb down by our panel was Filippo Berio (on sale for $6.99 for 750 ml at Key Food at 369 Flatbush Ave.).

Berio, in its non-extra virgin version, is the oil my mother always kept around in gallon containers in her Bay Ridge kitchen when I was growing up in the ’70s. Back then supermarkets did not carry the variety of olive oils they do today. I always assumed Berio signified quality and I will defend my mother by assuming that, of the choices available to her, Berio was most likely the best. Domenico DeMarco wields that same can at DiFara Pizza to the oohs and aahs of the adoring who queue up on Avenue J in Midwood for his celebrated slices. We tasted the extra virgin Berio, maybe her sluttier sister tastes great. The chaste one got a resounding negative from us—“burnt marshmallow,” is how one of our tasters described it; others called it  “bitter and flat,” and one accused it of being “oily,” which I hardly think is fair.

My favorites of the brands we tried were Zoe Organic ($9.60  for 750 ml at Sahadi’s at 187 Atlantic Ave.) and DeCecco (always on sale at Key Food on Flatbush Avenue for $9.99 for 1 liter, though I spotted that same bottle at Met Food at 632 Vanderbilt Ave. the other day for $7.99). Not everyone agreed with me. Where I found these oils to be equally fruity and delicious, another taster found them equally bitter and harsh. One person called both of them soapy—though maybe that person uses olive oil soap. Two tasters described Zoe as “a classic” and two described it as “bitter.” While both of these brands received more positives than negatives, they were not universally loved. This disappoints me because DeCecco is my go to brand, though I will also be buying Zoe in the future because it had the same light fruit flavor I like in my olive oil.

The brand that received no negative comments was Colavita ($7.95 for 750 ml at Sahadi’s). It has more pepper than DeCecco and Zoe, a quality I did not admire, though I could find no fault with the oil besides that simple matter of preference. Our panel liked its spiciness, which tasters equated with  “character,” “sophistication,” and “complexity of flavor.” One described it as both “light,” and “full bodied,” which is either a miraculous feat or just plain wrong.

Botticelli ($2.95 for 250ml at Key Food at 369 Flatbush Ave.) was called names like “stinky” and “gasoline.” It also garnered poetry like “fresher and younger tasting than the others,” and “herbal, like grass.” My judgment leaned toward the camp of fresh gas. I did however find that Sophia ($6.99 for 33 oz./approx 976 ml at Three Guys from Brooklyn), the cheapest oil on the list, shared Colavita’s pepper and spice. While a few other tasters agreed it was a decent oil, some detected a bitter, even “brutally stinging,” finish” Still it was admired for it’s “sweet front” and fruitiness.

The Brokavore, a passionate supporter of Sophia, left my apartment feeling unsettled about having chosen Sophia as his hands down favorite. He needn’t be so hard on himself. To paraphrase Woody Allen, when it comes to olive oils, the mouth likes what it likes.

As I sorted through the sloppy comments cards and childish cat drawings I realized that they went well together. I am pleased that I went through this exercise, and I don’t care if people didn’t like my brand. What I conclude from trying all these oils is that olive oil is difficult to know—sort of like a cat.

Amy Sohn.

By now you’ve heard all about Amy Sohn’s devil-wears-mom-jeans satire Prospect Park West, which is kicking up controversy among the Connecticut Muffin crowd. Tonight the author braves the flying organic heirlooms with a reading tonight at Cobble Hill’s Book Court, where all of our favorite writers seem to be turning up these days. (Holla Anna Jane Grossman next Monday!). We asked Amy for her favorite local bargains, not because they have much to do with her novel, whose characters seem rather more status-obsessed than their creator, but because… that’s what we do.

Highlights: Vivi at Slope Suds
I go to her because she’s the first person that ever listened to what I wanted, spent time thinking about how to do it, wrote down what she did, and did just as good a job the second time. The local appeal and insanely inexpensive rates are a bonus. I also save money in the form of time, in not having to commute to Manhattan to see her.

Car service: Family, (718) 596-0664
They always say five minutes and it always is five minutes for the car. I first found them because I believe they have a van, which I needed for a small moving job. Not a lot of car services have vans.

Takeout: Istanbul Park
We share the Adana kebabs, the cucumber yogurt and the Mediterranean salad.

Clothes: 1 of a Find vintage
I have a bunch of ’70s lounge lizards shirts that I like to wear open on top of tighter shirts. I got a perfect black dress from the early ’60s that I plan to wear to one of my readings that fits me like a glove.  Also something called a wriggle dress—’60s I think—high-buttoned tight, flowered, nerd dress you have to wriggle to get into. It’s like something Thora Birch would have worn in Ghost World.

Guilty pleasure: Free samples at Yogo
My daughter and I each get a taste and then eat it at the table outside.  For her, it’s enough.  For me, I make it enough. Their prices are too expensive for the real serving sizes.

Workout: Ellie Herman Pilates
Classes with the teachers in training are very cheap.

Amy Sohn at Book Court, tonight at 7 p.m., 163 Court St., 718-875-3677.

———— ——— ——— ——— ———
From: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Date: Thu Jul 29, 2004 12:41 pm
Subject: something sexy?
Hi,
We are one of you, a really nice slope couple with kids who occasionally
indulges in some soft swinging. We thought we’d put it out there, if there
are other folks who might be curious about this. We are not part of what
they call the “lifestyle,” but have had a few really fun experiences that
have spiced up our lives. We are mid 30′s, and some of you may know us, so
we have made sure to keep ourselves anonymous, and we ask that you do as
well, to keep discretion. (we made a new email account). We don’t know if
anyone is interested, but we thought this would be an ideal place to meet
like-minded, bright, imperfectly attractive, professional, thoughtful and
friendly people. We’re not sure how to go about this exactly, so if anyone
has any input (please be nice) or interest, let’s communicate. We can be
reached at xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Single moms are of course encouraged to
say hi also.
Look forward to seeing what might come back.
A & A

———— ——— ——— ——— ———
From: BBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Date: Thu Jul 29, 2004 4:19 pm
Subject: Re: [parkslopeparents] something sexy?
A&A,

I consider myself a forward thinking, liberal Park Sloper, but PLEASE!!!! If
this is a legitimate post, you are both out to lunch. Have you checked the
name of this listserve lately? PARKSLOPEPARENTS! Last I knew it was about
help and support and an exchange of information focused on PARENTING in PARK
SLOPE. Did it ever dawn on you that kids might read some of these postings? Find
another outlet folks!

———— ——— ——— ——— ———
From: > CCCCCC
Date: Thu Jul 29, 2004 4:48 pm
Subject: Re: [parkslopeparents] something sexy?

I’m not a swinger, but last time I checked, parents were sexual beings too.
I appreciate A & AZ freshly reminding us that we all express ourselves in a
variety of different ways. Thanks!

See you at Two Boots! Photo by AP.

Today’s Post looks to have the biggest story in Brooklyn since the Dodgers left town: real-estate scoopmeister Jennifer Gould Keil is reporting  “rumors” that Sarah Jessica Parker, mom of new twins via a surrogate, bought Jennifer Connelly’s double-wide brownstone at 17 Prospect Park West for $8.45 million and is currently renovating the house. The Post writes:

A rep for the “Sex and the City” star denies Parker is Brooklyn-bound, but the home was purchased for $8.45 million last December by a limited liability company called Harken Pretty, which sounds pretty similar to SJP’s production company, Pretty Matches. The double-wide townhouse has scaffolding in front of it and is undergoing a gut renovation.

If they move here, Parker and Matthew Broderick (shown here in a just-released photo with son James, 6, and newborn twins Marion and Tabitha), will be a stroller’s roll from her new Brooklyn BFF, novelist Amy Sohn. Parker optioned Sohn’s new novel, Prospect Park West, and Sohn is currently writing the pilot for an HBO series. Get the full Post story here.