Then there's this problem.

Press a button and it’s done. Single-serve coffee machines are delicious, easy, and a sure sign of your upward mobility. But The New York Times is blowing the foil lid off the terrible truth: those little plastic cups factor out to about $50 or more per pound. Apparently, single-serve coffee is one more devil spawn of Starbucks. The Times writes:

“Americans under the age of 40 are thinking about coffee pricing in cups,” said Ric Rhinehart, executive director of the Specialty Coffee Association of America. “If you asked my mother how much coffee cost, she would have told you that the red can was $5.25 a pound and the blue can was $4.25. If you ask people in their 20s and 30s, they’ll say coffee is $1.75 to $3.75 a cup.”

Of course, it follows that anyone charging $175 for a coffee maker will probably rip you off on the coffee itself, especially when they pack it in tiny, excessively wrapped, proprietary containers. Consider it the Gillette safety razor of coffee. Here’s the Times’ full story.

The best for your buck? Photo via Yelp.

The best dollar slice in all of New York City is Percy’s Pizza at 190 Bleecker St. in the Village, or so says the NY Post, who lauds it as a “tasty thin slice that crackles when you bite into it … Not too salty, not too greasy, it’s lightly sauced and not overwhelmed with cheese or sugar.” Of note, before going super cheap-o in December, the space was an outpost of South Brooklyn Pizza, which charged a ludicrous $4 a slice (I don’t care how good your damn tomatoes are), but it didn’t catch on amid the nabe’s other cheap eateries. The Post also reveals the ingredients to make the average eight-slice pizza cost a mere $4, so Percy’s is banking just 50 cents a slice. What say you, Brokesters? Is it worth a trip into the city? Do you have a favorite $1 slice in Brooklyn? It’s hard to beat those beer-and-a-whole-pizza deals. [via the skint]

Oh... yes! Photo courtesy of Frankie's Spuntino.

There’s a giveaway at Frankies Spuntino, but sadly, it isn’t a 7-course “Foodie’s Dream Threesome” with messieurs Castronovo and Falcinelli. The Carroll Gardens Patch reports that Sweet ‘N’ Low (based in the Navy Yards) is giving away dinner for eight to a Brooklyn couple married for an increment of five years (heh?) with the best love story. From the Patch:

Couples who will have been married for 5, 15, 25… (you get the idea) years in 2012 are asked to submit their love story in 300 words or less with a photograph to:Sweet Celebration
c/o Kellen Company
355 Lexington Ave, 15th Fl
New York, NY 10017

The deadline is Feb. 24, and you can get the complete details on the Sweet ‘N’ Low Facebook page. A winner will be chosen on February 29.

So why might you have to actually print out and mail your stuff in? Just a hunch that the saccharin company is hoping for some cute old Brooklyn couple that’s been married since Sweet ‘N’ Low was invented in 1957. This is only a theory, but anyway we’re pretty sure your hookup last weekend won’t cut it.

[via Carroll Gardens Patch]

Franklin Park. All photos by Emily Paup.

If you live within two subway stops of Tom’s Diner, you may have gotten into a long, whiskey-breathed argument about where Prospect Heights actually is. At the very least, you’ve likely cringed at the phrase “ProCro.” Smartphone lookups only blur the boundaries—Google Maps includes the Barclay’s Center in the postage stamp-sized area, and an old NY Magazine article suggests that that a block-wide sliver on Prospect Park west is part of the neighborhood. I object vehemently to both assertions, and I’m not even drunk right now. One thing’s for certain: there are some really solid happy hours in the region arguably known as Prospect Heights. Here’s a list of places where you can get tipsy and then try to figure out where the hell you are.

Laying the foundations
There are two types of drinkers: people who think you should eat a decent meal before downing seven beers, and people who think that doing so is a waste of money (these types can also get into high altitude weddings and post-blood donation binging). I pass no judgment, and neither does Soda Bar, which offers a $6 hamburger/Rolling Rock combo along with plain old $2 Rolling Rock. They’re not fooling around with the burger, by the way. It’s modestly sized, but there’s a high-quality bun, a heap of baby greens, and enough culinary commitment to ask you how you’d like it cooked. Pull up a stool, lounge on one of Soda Bar’s comfy couches, or lie on the floor, pound several Rolling Rocks, and go Hasselhoff on your burger. Like I said, I’m not here to judge.

Soda Bar, 629 Vanderbilt Ave., 718-230-8393
Noon-7pm Mon-Fri, $2 Rolling Rock, $6 Rolling Rock/hamburger combo

So many choices: The Way Station.

Getting time travel tipsy
The Way Station is one of Prospect Heights’ more carefully-decorated bars. Studded leather booths and ornate wallpaper line the south wall, a bathroom masquerades as a phone booth at the end of the bar, and wall-mounted ray guns point mercifully towards the back. A fellow drinker described the steampunky bar’s clientele as “socially functional nerds,” and, yes, there’s a geek streak to the bar that offers a “choose your own adventure” cocktail (this priceless $8 experience, in which the bartender mixes a drink based on your answers to a few questions, is a total ripoff, by the way). Assuming you bring a few friends, though, the crowd could just as easily be described as “people who like cheap drinks.”

The Way Station, 683 Washington Ave, 347-627-4949
4pm-8pm, $2 PBR, $4 shot-and-a-beer, $4 drafts, $8 ‘choose your own adventure,’ $1 off everything else.

Staying classy
Despite the low prices and lengthy happy hour, Washington Commons is a swell place. Their friendly bartenders will answer questions about barley for you, and they take the trouble to pour pilsners into pilsner glasses, etc. The gargantuan beer list can sometimes daunt, but with what they’re charging, you can taste your way through the bar’s microbrew selection in a matter of (drunk) days. During warmer times, Washington Commons’ back yard is a great place to spend several hours. Bonus: there are sometimes dogs at this bar.

Washington Commons, 748 Washington Ave., 718-230-3666
3-8pm Mon-Fri; $2 off everything; most beer is $3-6 after discount. Also, $4 bloody Marys from 1-4pm Sat-Sun.

Prospect Heights? Crown Heights? "ProCro"?

Two plausible arguments that Prospect Heights now extends to Franklin Avenue
The gentrifying hordes are pushing eastward from Washington Avenue at an alarming pace (a street often cited as Prospect Heights’ edge), but the way that people talk about the Franklin Avenue stop in Crown Heights, you don’t expect a place like The Crown Inn. It’s downright posh: there’s a wood-trimmed marble bar, craft liquors, house cocktails, and the kind of wine that doesn’t involve a plastic spigot. At one point, the bartender replaced my gross, saturated napkin with a crisp new one. Like I said—posh. The sophistication announces itself in your tab, but my fancy-pants cocktail was delicious enough to make me want to be rich.

The Crown Inn, 724 Franklin Avenue, no phone
5pm-8pm Mon-Thurs,2pm-8pm Fri; $4 drafts, $6 selected cocktails, $7 wine on tap

Franklin Park—the bar best known for its outdoor seating, excellent weekend DJ sets, and being the place where you lost your coat on Friday—also has a beat the clock happy hour. Drink as many $3 drafts as you can from 4-5pm, because they’re $4 from 5-7. On Mondays, the drafts stay put at $4 all night, and on Tuesdays, you can get two-fers on well drinks and beer until close. If you can’t take the pressure of escalating prices (or if you become disoriented for some reason), remember that $3 cans of Bud are available every day of the week at any hour.

Franklin Park, 618 Saint Johns Place, 718-975-0196
$3 drafts and $4 wells from 4-5pm, $4 drafts and $5 wells from 5-7pm. $4 drafts all night on Monday; two-for-one wells and beers until close on Tuesday. Cash only.

Other places to drink cheap

Bar Sepia, 234 Underhill, 718-399-6680—4-8pm Mon-Fri, $1 off drafts and wells. $3 Bud during happy hour, better beers will run you about $5 after the discount.

Plan B, 626 Vanderbilt Ave., 347-240-2171 —4-7pm, Mon-Fri, $3 drafts, $4 wells and wine. Guinness is $4. Lots of TVs playing sports.

Branded Saloon, 603 Vanderbilt Ave., 718-484-8704—4pm-7pm, Mon-Fri, $2 Rolling Rock, $3 PBR, $4 drafts, wells, and wine, $6 cosmos, bloody marys, and margaritas. This place has a pool table and arcade games.

Sharlene’s, 353 Flatbush Ave., 347-350-8225—1pm-7pm, EVERY DAY, $3 drafts, $1 off everything else. THESE PEOPLE ARE SAINTS.

Girl Scout taste-alikes at Family Dollar, photo by Tom Sullivan.

If you love Girl Scouts as much as this ex-fat kid, you know that nothing quite beats the anticipation of that first bite of Thin Mints or Samoas, fueled in part by their only-once-a-year availability/hairy-nosed wombat level of rarity in our fair borough. (As of this writing, they go on sale exactly 27 days from now, according to this cookie countdown stopwatch.)

Enter Family Dollar. A few days ago, an Instagram photo of several boxes of cookies from everyone’s favorite discount store chain went around Twitter (Thank you @KateHarding.) While not legit Girl Scout cookies per se, the cookies on the box looked an awful lot like the Tagalongs, Thin Mints, and Samoas that I have an inappropriate obsession with/hoard shamelessly in my kitchen pantry/stress eat on a regular basis.

Available year round, “identical,” and only $1.75 a box, as opposed to $4 – $5 or more when the real things come down the pike in March? Don’t mind if I do. I immediately hauled ass from my Ditmas Park apartment down to Family Dollar’s Clarendon Road location, the closest of the chain’s 24 Brooklyn stores.

While these aren’t explicitly Girl Scout cookies, they certainly look the same. When I got home–and perhaps while strolling back up picturesque Flatbush Ave.–I tore them open for a test. Turns out the imposters taste the same too–so much so that it’s even possible that they’re made by the same bakery.

Aside from costing third of the price, the only real difference is that by cheaping out, you’re giving money to a national chain store instead of supporting a $760 million girl-led enterprise that teaches girls entrepreneurial skills, subsidizes summer camps, helps make Girl Scouts available to low income families and supports trans inclusivity, among other worthy pursuits.

Ugh. So how about if someone ONLY buys Dollar Scout cookies when the real ones aren’t available. Is that wrong?

Do you have any of that noppy crunch?

Soon, the days when you could justify buying that big 2-liter bottle just marked “SODA” that was like $2 cheaper than Pepsi will be gone. Yes, even the lowly generic brands many of us rely on to squeak through under budget at the grocery store are getting pricier. Consumerist points us to this WSJ story that shows stores have caught on to us crafty consumers and are raising the prices of private-label goods: 5.3 percent on nonperishables and a huge 12 percent for perishables. Meanwhile, name-brand prices have only gone up 1.9 percent and 8 percent respectively. They still cost 29 percent more than the store-brand stuff on average, but the gap is closing in many areas: Target’s Archer Farms almonds cost  37 cents per ounce, a penny more than Planter’s version, for instance.

The nut (sorry) of the issue here is that you, the consumer, have become loyal to your Archer Farms,  365 Everyday Value or Key Food brand mustard, and the stores think you should pay for your loyalty. So tell us: do you have a favorite generic brand? And will rising prices make you go back to the big boys?

Ah the finer things.

Whether it’s actually a thing that more women have discovered whiskey lately or just one of those pseudo-trend stories, we’ll let you decide. But let it be known, ladies, that ordering a glass of whiskey totally works for you, so you should keep doing it. On that note, All you dudes and ladies who love a taste of whiskey, prepare for an awesome pre-V day outing: New Greenpoint gallery/shop The One Well is hosing a whiskey and chocolate tasting on Thursday, and it’s free! From 6-8pm, sample drinks from Jonathan Wingo from The Whiskey Shop and chocolates from Danielle Lawrence of Raaka Chocolate. The shop will be offering package pricing on vintage glasses with the purchase of a bottle of whiskey, too.

The One Well,  165 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint. 

Ghenet means "Yes, I'll sleep with you but not until you wash your hands" in Ethiopian. Photo by Serious Eats.

Dear Serious Eats web site, we hate slideshows, unless they’re celebrity plastic surgery photos. Love, Brokelyn.
Formatting quibbles aside, check out Serious Eats’ list of 10 modestly priced Valentine’s Day restaurants, which include three in Brooklyn (Olea, Cafe Moto and the “sensually” utensil-free Ghenet). There’s also one in Staten Island (the ferry’s romantic, even if mac and cheese isn’t.) Down at Broketown HQ, we’ve been debating the merits of acknowledging Valentine’s Day at all, with single dudes some of us staunchly opposed and married breeders others looking for any excuse to break out the bubbly and cupid-festooned Joe Boxers… ROAR! Whatever your plans (we’re actually curious, so feel free to pipe in), these places seem worth a visit at some point. Or are you single dudes down on restaurants altogether these days? [via Serious Eats]

If this game isn't the bane of your existence like it is for Dave, check out some of these events.

Real talk: I will be avoiding bars on Super Bowl Sunday this year because I hate both teams and there’s a guarantee I would get beat to death by at least one, if not both, fanbases. You, however, might have a rooting interest besides “the field imploding like in the new Batman trailer,” but no TV and no interest in watching a glitchy Internet broadcast. Lucky for you, Brooklyn is home to many bars that off affordable ways to cater to your readiness for some football, from free wing buffets to cheap drinks to vegan parties to a super mustache bash. 

SUPER GUIDES
Check out our guide to cheap football bars, combining our picks with reader favorites; if you need a nosh to calm your nerves, lots of spots in our free bar food roundup are game-friendly. Staying in? Don’t forget our super-scientific study of the best value for cheap beers before you fill the fridge. But if you’re still a disgruntled Jets fan, pound some beer and shot specials.

WILLIAMSBURG

South 4th Bar, 90 S. 4th St.: Even though everyone knows mustaches go better with baseball and hockey, this Williamsburg café/bar (cabar?) is inviting everyone with a lip caterpillar to show up to their Super Bowl Mustache Bash. It includes $15 pitchers of Kelso and Blue Point Toasted Lager, a $5 Bloody Mary bar and $4 Jamesons. The bar is also making sure there’s something to absorb all that alcohol with rolling food options starting with pizza at 1pm, chips and chili at 3 and a 6-foot party sub showing up at 6.

Matt Torrey’s, 46 Bushwick Ave.: While the Giants still won’t return my calls about setting up a charity to donate  $100 for every Eli Manning interception (129 in 121 career games!), you can put that selfish attitude to shame on Sunday. Matt Torrey’s is making a dent in the fight against leukemia and lymphoma by asking for a $10 donation (suggested)  for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. In exchange, you get access to three big screen TVs, chips and dip, wings and your first well drink or draft beer for free.There’s also the promise of raffle prizes and Super Bowl boxes for you degenerate gamblers.

Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave.: No specials here, but if my fervent hope for the worst Super Bowl of all time comes true, you’ll feel extra smart for choosing to watch the game at a bowling alley, where at least you’ll have a distraction. If you and your friends are particularly terrible at bowling, you can make bets as to whether your scores will best the over/under of 55 points between the Giants and Pats. Though if you do bowl a 54, man do you suck.

Wildflower: The vegan pop-up shop will host a Super Bowl party on Sunday at 379 Union Avenue. The fare will be … vegan, and the party starts at 5:30 p.m.

COBBLE HILL

That's a fact of life.

The Brazen Head, 228 Atlantic Ave.: The official bar of Trader Joe’s lunch breaks is bringing linebacker-strength hits with four TVs showing the game, two kinds of  free chili (carnivore-friendly and vegetarian), plus their $1 off drinks for the whole day. During the game, all draft beers will be $5, so if I were you, I’d start praying for a penalty-filled mess of a game that goes until the last second of overtime.

Angry Wade’s, 222 Smith St.: It’s Brooklyn’s unofficial Red Sox bar, so this must be the perfect bar for you to show up to in your Michael Strahan jersey and loudly moralize about Rob Gronkowski’s dalliance with a porn star and Tom Brady fathering a bastard child. The beating would be totally worth it though, for the promised outdoor barbeque, wall projection of the game and the chance to win a raffled off snowboard.

BED-STUY

Vodou Bar, 95 Halsey St.: No, it’s not a place angry Jet fans are gathering to stick pins in a collection of Giants and Pats dolls (that place is called “my living room”). Instead, it’s a Bed-Stuy bar promising to get your bloodlust primed with free wings between 5 and 6:30, plus a special Super Bowl happy hour and menu.

PARK SLOPE

The Rock Shop, 249 Fourth Ave., Park Slope: This bar/venue invites you all to come on down and root for the Giants. So you won’t find me there, despite the allure of a free wing buffet at kickoff, $4 Stella Drafts, $5 Jameson drinks, $5 Stolli drinks and $3 cans of Modelo and Rolling Rock.

What did we miss?

Bed-Stuy, drink or die. Photo by Clay Williams.

Bed-Stuy is on the rise and for the most part it seems to mostly be a good thing (depending on who you talk to) as cool new restaurants and bars get added to the nabe made famous by Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. But don’t take my word for it: This Saturday, our friend and photographer-about-town Clay Williams and friends are hosting a bar crawl through the Stuy: for $25, you get a free drink at each of four bars, small appetizers, swag from Yelp and a 2012 edition of the Not For Tourists Brooklyn guidebook, which sounds like more than $25 worth of stuff. You can buy tickets online through midnight Friday. See the full list of bars below.

Your hosts: Clay Williams (@Ultraclay), Alisha Miranda (@makeshiftalisha) and Nicole Taylor (@foodculturist), and the official hashtag is #bedstuycrawl. The event is co-sponsored by Yelp, Scoutmob and Not For Tourists.