Imma hustler baby.

I won’t even pretend to know anything about strip clubs, so let’s turn again to Yelp for guidance on Larry Flint’s Huster Club: “There were some ‘ladies’ who were definitely questionable. I felt it as a evil joke by Larry to throw in some men in dresses pre-op for his own kicks. There was even this one woman working the pole who had to be at least 50 – was fairly gross…she worked it out though – work it sista!” Sounds awesome! This Craigslister is giving away about 500 passes to the club, with no expiration date. While admission is usually $20-$25, it should be noted that you can also print a free pass from the club’s site. If the Hustler Club is too Manhattan for you, you could always keep it local with BK strip clubs.
[via Gothamist]

The best for your buck? Photo via Yelp.

The best dollar slice in all of New York City is Percy’s Pizza at 190 Bleecker St. in the Village, or so says the NY Post, who lauds it as a “tasty thin slice that crackles when you bite into it … Not too salty, not too greasy, it’s lightly sauced and not overwhelmed with cheese or sugar.” Of note, before going super cheap-o in December, the space was an outpost of South Brooklyn Pizza, which charged a ludicrous $4 a slice (I don’t care how good your damn tomatoes are), but it didn’t catch on amid the nabe’s other cheap eateries. The Post also reveals the ingredients to make the average eight-slice pizza cost a mere $4, so Percy’s is banking just 50 cents a slice. What say you, Brokesters? Is it worth a trip into the city? Do you have a favorite $1 slice in Brooklyn? It’s hard to beat those beer-and-a-whole-pizza deals. [via the skint]

This freebie is so good, you might lose your head.

This description of a bunch of leftover special effects supplies doesn’t mean much to those of us not in the movie/heavy makeup engineering biz, but an industry insider informs us the stuff is handy “if somebody out there was making a zombie movie, or needed to make an exploding head, a la Scanners, they could use this.” The ad says it comes with everything you need for casting and making molds and latex pieces, including  2 pounds of Algiform brand alginate slow compound, 7-10 pounds casting plaster and 1 gallon of Alcone brand liquid latex, flesh color. So there you go! Explode heads, for free!

Forever alone? Not this year. Photo via one of the MOST DEPRESSING STORIES OF ALL TIME in The Daily Mail.

Being a single on Valentine’s Day I imagine is a lot like being a Jew on Christmas: people around you are caught up in the hoopla of corporation-fueled gifting while the rest of us slog along, pretending we’re perfectly happy not celebrating. And then you have to upload post after post about it on the blog you work for, because allegedly everyone is looking for things to do on V Day, because, even though you’re a happy couple, I STILL HAVE TO COME UP WITH DATE IDEAS FOR YOU. Well, nuts to that: maybe V Day is hard to ignore, but this is still Brooklyn after all, and Brooklyn is nothing if not a seething pit of hormones looking for an outlet. I hereby declare all is not lost for you this year! Get thee to one of these events — they’re cool enough that they don’t reek of desperation (or Axe) but close enough to V Day that, let’s face it, everyone knows what you’re there for.

For the “Screw It, I’m In Touch With My Singularity” crowd:

I Heart Nerds Speed Dating and Singles Night
Thursday, FREE to mingle, $5 to speed date (happy hour 5-8)
Bar 4, 44 Seventh Ave., Park Slope, doors at 7pm

Go to this, jam out to nerdy indie rock and nerd romance tunes while mingling with a bar full of people who you actually know are single (if you use the “I’m sorta seeing someone” excuse at a speed dating event, you lose a life). Since it’s free to mingle, you can size up the crowd and decide if you want to dive into the speed dating. (If you know you want to speed date, RSVP to heartspeeddating@gmail.com to reserve space). DJ Patty Hearst of the skint will be spinning too!

For the “Pretending It’s Not V-Day But Really Looking for an Alt Date” crowd:

The Withering Frost Valentine’s Day block party
Thursday, FREE (with free booze!)
Graham Ave. between Wither and Frost, East Williamsburg, 6-9pm

This is a two-block long party featuring Nail Art at Tree House, one-time-only dating service (whatever that means) at Blue Stove, buy-one, get-one deals at Daddy’s, spiked cider at Alter and lots of other sales and freebies at the 11 businesses along the block. DJs will be spinning at Moves and Slowfax too. A little drinky, dancey, freebie good time in Williamsburg: it won’t be long until thoughts of your next sleepover party start dancing in your head.

For the “I Say I Just Want to Dance But Really I’ll Make Side Glances at Cuties All Night” crowd:

The Broken Hearted Ball, presented by Advernture[s] and Nerve Dating
Saturday, FREE (with drink specials)
Bar Matchless, 557 Manhattan Ave., 8pm-12am

This dance party comes in two parts: Part 1 from 8-10 is “Dance the Pain Away,” featuring songs to work out that bad romance juju on topics of breaking up, bitterness, longing, cheating, revenge, etc., from”You’re So Vain” to “You Oughta Know.” Part 2 is “Let’s Get it On,” which is self explanatory, and should put your in the arms of Mr./Mrs. Right Now. Matchless is one of the most seethingest pits of the aforementioned seething hormones. Just know you might end up talking to a 21-year-old wearing a Jansport all night.

For the bookish, adorable, twee but ready-to-overcome-shyness crowd

Missed Connections Valentine’s Day Party
Feb. 14, FREE (with free beer!)
New York Transit Museum, 95 Schermerhorn St., Brooklyn Heights, 6-8pm

The idea here is to reunite your lost m4w, w4m, m4ms, etc. that you thought were lost by the cruel hands of closing subway doors. New York Times writer Alan Feuer will read some of the best Craigslist Missed Connections and illustrator Sophie Blackall will sign copies of her book, Missed Connections: Love, Lost & Found. Need a pickup line? Try this one: ” I was going to leave you a missed connection after this, but then I decided to stop being a passive aggressive milquetoast and actually talk to you in person.” BAM! You’re welcome.

The Money $hot

Unloveable: A Smiths & Morrissey Valentine’s Day
Feb. 14, $10 advance, $12 day of
Bell House, 149 7th St., Gowanus, 8pm doors/10pm show

A dance party. With a Smiths and Cure cover band. On Valentine’s Day. At the Bell House. Sure it’s $10, but ladies and gentlebros, if you can’t hook up at this thing, you may need to seriously consider how much of a sad sack you present yourself as to the world (Team Brokelyn can vouch for the power of the Bell House’s mojo). Featuring music by The Sons & Heirs and a pre-party with DJ Ceremony. Spending a V day with boys who don’t cry and girlfriends in comas is the only acceptable way to celebrate, in this broken-hearted brokester’s opinion.

Follow/send missed connections to Tim: @timdonnelly.