FRIDAY

8pm: is it hot in peru, or is it just us? alistair r. noble of the hollow earth society lectures on the phallic stone monuments recently discovered near — wait for it — lake titicaca. observatory, $5. 

8pm: fifteen-plus member ensemble mise-en perform a variety of pieces at the firehouse space (246 frost street, williamsburg). followed by a reception with the musicians and composers. free.

8:30pm: indie/alternative bands snowden and warm ghost play glasslands, $12

SATURDAY
10:30am-3:30pm: get yourself learned in basic bookmaking, confetti eggs and japanese tea ceremony at the brooklyn skillshare and big things pop-up art market and skills workshop. launchpad (crown heights), $5 sugg. don. for workshops.

12-2pm: mix some vodka or kahlua with your selections from an all-you-can-eat sugar cereal bar while watching v-day episodes of cartoons from the 60s-90s at a love-themed ‘spoons, toons, + booze’ viewing party. nitehawk, $5.

12-5pm: 30+ food, gift, and craft vendors fill the greenpointers love birds valentine’s market. plus, a love letter writing station, a free birdy photo booth, $1 raffles, more. lutheran church of the messiah (129 russell st. greenpoint), free admission.

7pm: screaming females, laura stevenson + the cans, more play the don giovanni records showcase at mhow, $12 adv, $14 dos

8pm: enter a clandestine french cabaret at gemni + scorpio’s valtentine’s day + 9th b-day party: gypsy swing from les hot club, french chanson, musical saw, classic and gender-bending burlesque, live ink portraits, tarot and astrology readings, more. dress code req’d. gowanus location tba w. rsvp, $20 until 1am, $10 after.

11pm: cheryl (‘the dance party that will ruin your life’) goes retro – caveman retro – at the bell house, $5 before midnight, $10 after.

SUNDAY
12-6pm: have a cruelty-free v-day with gifts from the vegan valentine’s shop-up gift market: 30+ vendors including rescue chocolate, heat sweets, champs bakery and diner, one lucky duck, compassion couture, more. bonus: happy hour boozing and pick up a free copy of veg news magazine. pine box rock shop (2 grattan st., bushwick), free admission.

sun 7pm doors, 8pm show: laugh at love at the skint’s ‘tell your friends! with benefits!’ valentine comedy show featuring wyatt cenac (the daily show), jessi klein (snl, comedy central, vh1), hari + ashok (das racist, comedy central), victor varnado (‘the awkward comedy show’, tell your friends! the concert film), musical guest bridget + the squares, and host liam mceneaney. bonus: the first 100 guests get a free robicelli’s cupcake! $12 adv, $15 dos.

8pm: test your sexy smarts at babeland trivia. silver bullet vibes go to the top three teams. pacific standard, free.

ALL WEEKEND
check out the skint’s list of 25+ free and cheap valentine’s events in nyc.

listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY
8pm (+ 2/4)

8pm (thru 2/5): multiple playwrights collaborate on one work without knowing what others are doing at piper mckenzie’s dainty cadaver. the brick, $10.

8pm: buried alive! = deborah kaufman’s intimate performance staged on a tabletop with sets constructed entirely of matchboxes. observatory, $12.

9pm: blurghlesque, a burlesque tribue to 30 rock, a sexy tribute to liz lemon, jack, kenneth, tracy and all the rest of the tgs gang, with comedy by jena friedman and jessica delfino. matchless, $5.

SATURDAY
4pm: novelist and macarthur fellow colson whitehead reads from his new post-apocalyptic novel zone one, which follows new york’s clean-up job of removing zombies to make manhattan inhabitable again. bpl, free.

5pm: brooklyn museum’s target free first saturday celebrates black males defying stereotypes with discussions, a talk with author carla peterson, a fashion showcase, music from afro-punk band game rebelion, violinist daniel bernard roumain, and dj stormin’ norman, more free.

6pm: the bed-stuy bar crawl includes a free drink from four bars, small appetizers, free stuff from yelp and a copy of the latest not for tourists brooklyn guidebook. $25 (must purchase tickets by midnight fri).

9pm: the folks at secret formula have formulated a grease sing-along and 50s dance (with spiked punch, of course) including shout outs, drinking games, trivia, a costume contest and dance-off, more. bell house, $10 adv, $12 dos.

10pm: the rub classic hip hop dance party rubs one out one last time at southpaw before the venue closes at the event moves to the bell house, $10

11pm: nerds + burlesque = nerdlesque. followed by strip operation! the brick, $10.

SUNDAY
1pm (every first sun thru march): a licensed psychotherapist and garden guide leads a special ‘chase away the winter blues‘ tour of the brooklyn botanic garden. free with $10 garden admission.

3pm (thru 5/26): brooklyn’s truffle theatre company performs shakespeare’s a midsummer night’s dream in the mezzanine of 61 local (cobble hill), $5 for super bowl sunday (reg $15).

6:30pm SUPERBOWL!

listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY

6-10pm: opening reception for group exhibit 120db, showcasing the work of thirteen female concert photographers. fort useless (bushwick), free.

7, 9pm (thru 1/29 + 2/2-5): the 9th annual cool new york 2012 dance festival features 60 companies and choreographers performing in an intimate setting. white wave (dumbo), free.

7:30pm (thru 2/26): brooklyn’s truffle theatre company performs shakespeare’s a midsummer night’s dream in the mezzanine of 61 local (cobble hill), $15

9pm: there’ll be a whole lotta love when bustle in your hedgerow puts on a show of led zeppelin tunes. brooklyn bowl, $10-12.

10pm-4am: bangon!nyc’s ‘uniform party’ takes over a 2-level secret location for an all-night dance party filled with folks in various takes on professional attire. time to pick up my birthday suit from the cleaners! grand street l train stop area location tba, $10.

SATURDAY

12-2pm: eat a free vegetarian lunch prepared by folks at the cookbook project and learn about healthy, responsible eating on a budget at sustainable flatbush’s community meal. flatbush reformed church, free.

7pm: opening reception for artist enrico miguel thomas’s exhibition of sharpie and watercolor works on nyc subway maps, ‘new york city above and below’. brooklyn brew available by donation. city reliquary, free.

7-10pm: the results of 50 artists + hackers collaborating for three days go on display with live performances and a party at 319 scholes, bushwick. free (rsvp)

9pm: have a serving of country music served up three very different ways: the delorean sisters (americana-style depeche mode covers), ménage à twang (comic country trio) and doll parts (dolly parton covers). $10.

10pm: dances of vice throws ‘the diamond ace ii’, a film-noir inspired sequel to last year’s party with live crime jazz, burlesque, more. public assembly, $15.

SUNDAY

6:30pm: homebrew enthusiasts compete to see who has the best suds at the sixth annual homebrew alley competition and raffle. brooklyn brewery, $5 per glass, 5 for $20.

7:30pm: alan zweig’s doc. vinyl looks at the world of obsessive record collectors. spectacle, $5.

FRIDAY
8pm

8:30pm: former off-broadway show the marijuana-logues lets tony camin, rob cantrell, and bruce cherry perform monologues about their favorite herb. bell house, $10 adv, $13 dos.

9pm: no partner or experience necessary at the new york city barn dance. jalopy, $15.

11pm-4am: do you miss junior senior, annie, chicks on speed, fischerspooner, and the like? sweat to them all and more at ‘le bump,‘ a nostalgic dance party spun by djs mister disco (happy house), brian blackout (secret formula), and chris rogy. cubana social (williamsburg), free.

SATURDAY
4pm: sample pimento cheese and watch a screening of short doc. Iimento cheese, please with director nicole lang at brooklyn kitchen. $5.

7:30pm-12am: five very different female singing cellists sahre the bill at vaudeville park. bonus: drinks by donation courtesy of brooklyn brew and vegan cupcakes. $5-15 sliding scale admission.

8pm: comedienne lisa delarios is joined by guest co-host bobby tisdale at this month’s ‘party machine’ at union hall, featuring kara klenk, dan st. germain, kate berlant, jordan carlos and adira amram + the experience. $5.

SUNDAY
6pm: taste chili from 10 contestants and enter raffles at the habitat’s (greenpoint ) fourth chili cook-off, $10.

7:30pm: todd barry hosts tonight’s ‘pretty good friends‘ comedy show at union hall with guests dan st. germain, kevin barnett, and the found footage festival. $7.

Listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY
8pm:

8pm: bonjour! sing along to your favorite tunes from beauty and the beast and compete against other fans in the trivia, costume, and egg-eating contests. bell house, $10 adv, $12 dos.

10pm: techno party the bunker celebrates its nine year anniversary with chicago house legend derrick carter, dutch synthster legowelt, derek plaslaiko, more. public assembly, $20.

SATURDAY
11am: ‘lovesick: a wedding expo for the cool at heart’ brings alt/unique wedding vendors to mhow. $6.50 adv, $10 dos.

5-11pm: brooklyn museum’s target first saturday celebrates the lgbtq community with a sing-along screening of rent, an interactive performance with free haircuts, artist talks, hands-on art, a dance party with dj tikka massala, more. free.

8pm: greg barris’s ‘heart of darkness’ comedy night at union hall features gabe liedman, wyatt cenac, matthew modine (yes, the matthew modine) and pianist pete drungle. union hall, $8.

8pm: wasabassco burlesque puts on a free show at the bell house with special guests trick roper-bull whip master chris mcdaniel and alex battles + the whisky rebellion.

SUNDAY
confound and arouse your fellow commuters during the 11th annual no pants subway ride, free with $2.25 subway fare

1pm: every first sun thru march): a licensed psychotherapist and garden guide leads a special ‘chase away the winter blues‘ tour of the brooklyn botanic garden. free with $10 garden admission.

6pm: british record label communion sets up residency at public assembly. this month: performances by clare + the reasons, natalia zukerman, spirit family reunion, levi stephens and sydney wayser. $12.

7:20, 9:40pm: director wim wenders does q+a (7:20pm) and introduces (9:40pm) pina, his 3d tribute to the work of legendary modern choreographer pina bausch. bam, $15.

ALL WEEKEND
the brooklyn flea is back open for the season!

Listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY

8pm: enter your secret stuffed mounted beaver collection at the secret science club‘s most bonkers event of the year- the 6th annual carnivorous nights taxidermy contest. bell house, $7.

8pm (+12/10-11, 15-18 @ various times): a charlie brown christmas – live accompanied by a jazz trio performing vince guaraldi’s classic score returns for the fourth year to brooklyn lyceum, $10/person, 4/$30.

10pm: ‘do they know it’s christmas?’ secret formula does, and they’re throwing a xmas pop sing-along and santa con pre-party to prove it. the singing continues with guerilla caroling around the ‘hood after. themed drinks, costume contests, free milk + cookies, more! union hall, $8.

SATURDAY
2-5pm: swap your vegan cookbooks, dvds and other animal rights material at launchpad’s benefit for woodstock farm animal sanctuary, free (rsvp)

12-6pm: the first 300 peeps get a free tote bag filled with swag at the fifth annual handmade holiday craft fair. 3rd ward, free admission.

8pm: toys and tiny instruments – whose gear includes everything from toy pianos to stylophones – play rock shop, $8.

8pm: bruce in the usa (‘the world’s #1 tribute to bruce springsteen and the e street band) are the closest we can get to the boss… and for a lot less. brooklyn bowl, $7.

SUNDAY
7pm: the crappy cinema council watches crappy movies and makes fun of them. we’re sensing that the cringe-inducing star wars holiday special will be a part of this month’s theme: the holidays. public assembly, free.

7pm: honky-tonk harmonies reign at the sweetback sisters‘ christmas sing-along. jalopy, $12 adv, $15 dos.

ALL WEEKEND
authors michael showalter, emma straub, josh ritter, many more give book recommendations, sign and help wrap and bag your purchases at brooklyn’s word holiday open house. bonus: free cider + donuts!

thru 1/9: save up to 90 percent off art and photography books and limited editions, plus get a free art book with purchases over $50 at powerhouse arena’s fire sale.

check out the skint’s 40+ traditional and not-so-traditional things to do this holiday season.

Listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY
8pm

8pm: opera on tap turns game show for a public school benefit where panelists try to tell the ‘real’ composers from imposters. barbes, $10 sugg. don

8:30pm: owen (chicago’s mike kinsella) and caithlin de marrais (formerly of indie band rainer maria) play glasslands, $15

12:15am (+12/3): 1984 christmas slasher flick silent night deadly night screens at nitehawk, $11.

SATURDAY
10am-6pm: 35+ local artisans, crafters and designers sell their wares at the holiday handmade cavalcade. public assembly, free admission.

12-9pm: the brooklyn comics + graphics festival sets up shop in our lady of mt. carmel church in williamsburg (12-9pm) and union pool (1-8pm). free entry.

7-11pm: wax on! real and fake hairies can compete at the nyc beard and moustache competition. europa (greenpoint), $15 admission benefits the keep-a-breast foundation.

9pm: amanda palmer, the suzan, savoir adore, and ambassadors lend their talents to fundraise for the restoration of the gowanus canal at the gowanus canal conservancy’s winter festival. $15 for concert, $40 for concert + 3 course farm-to-table dinner and 2 beers.

SUNDAY
11am-4pm: cobble hill’s p.s. 39 hosts a pie social, pie contest and holiday artisan gift fair to benefit the school

12-5pm: an all-vegan holiday popup market sprouts in bushwick’s pine box rock shop. brooklyn brine fried pickles, eco-friendly fashion, organic soaps, candles and body care, more.

12pm-6pm: dig through rare vinyl albums, singles, imports and more at brooklyn bowl’s collect-i-bowl winter record show. free admission.

1pm (every first sun thru march): a licensed psychotherapist and garden guide leads a special ‘chase away the winter blues’ tour of the brooklyn botanic garden. free with $10 garden admission.

7:30pm: pianist jarrett cherner and the mivos quartet play the douglass street music collective (gowanus), $10 sugg. don.

Listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY
7:30pm

8pm: soul coughing’s mike doughty and his band fantastic play brooklyn bowl, $12

8pm: let’s knife! female japanese rock trio shonen knife make a stop at the bell house during their 30th anniversary tour, $12.

thru 11/20: although the jim henson foundation is co-producing the puppets on film festival at bam, these movies aren’t just for kids: the muppet movie fits right in with the dark crystal, gremlins 2, team america: world police, where the wild things are, documentaries and shorts. $12

SATURDAY
8pm: breukelen + ukulele = breukulele! bliss blood, ted gottfried (sonic uke), cat smith, sarah bisman, j. walter hawkes, and jamie scandal. way station, free.

8-11pm: secret project robot gallery officially claims their new home at its bushwick opening tonight.

9pm: monthly 60s soul party dig deeper presents winfield parker’s first nyc show in 39 years. southpaw, $12 adv, $15 dos.

10pm: twenty-five musicians – including members of the dap-kings, psychedelic furs, buke + gass, and caveman – are divided into five random groups and create band names and original songs in only twelve hours. hear the results at knitting factory, $10 admission proceeds goes to free arts nyc.

11:30pm: the sons + heirs pay tribute to the smiths and morrissey at brooklyn bowl, $5 adv, $7 door

SUNDAY
7pm: mivos quartet perform their own music for the first time live and cellist-singer-composer jody redhage‘s brings her new quartet to the sanctuary @ temple beth emeth (83 marlborough rd. @ church ave., prospect park south), $10.

ALL WEEKEND
the brooklyn flea moves indoors to one hanson next week and it’s your last chance to get your grub on at smorgasburg this season.

Listings brought to you by the skint. Follow: @theskint.

FRIDAY

7, 11:11pm: ‘these go to eleven’… spinal tap, followed by skype q+a with band members nigel tufnel and derek smalls (christopher guest and harry shearer) at 7pm screening. bam rose cinemas, $12.

8pm: musicians incl. julee cruise, chris butler (the waitresses), mike fornatale (the left banke), more play literal adaptations of the songs from spinal tap. rock shop, $10.

9pm: trixie little and the evil hate monkey bring striptease, magic, circus, singing, and ‘brilliant stupidity’ to southpaw, $10 adv $15 door.

SATURDAY
10am-7pm: 35+ artists open their studios to the public for brooklyn open studios, free

2pm: bring your bestest savory pie to compete in the brooklyn kitchen’s contest/greenpoint soup kitchen fundraiser. $5 to compete or taste and vote.

8pm: filmmaker ronni thomas gives an illustrated lecture on the history of absinthe and other elixirs of fin de siècle paris. (yes, lushes, there will be samples and free absinthe) follwed by a francophile music-filled after party. observatory, $10.

8pm: the shimmering synths of aislyn, genghis hans and shapeless shadow fill union hall, $5

10pm: bamcafe’s new comedy night features adira amram, hari kondabolu, rick younger and rob stern. bamcafe, free.

SUNDAY
7pm: the crappy cinema council watches crappy movies and makes fun of them. this month’s theme: trailers. public assembly, free.

8pm: alt-rock band fishbone play brooklyn bowl, $10 adv, $15 dos

ALL WEEKEND
the zero film festival features films by self-financed filmmakers, art installations, live performances and dancing at the tribeca grand, 54 water st and galapagos. free-$15.

listings provided by the skint. Follow: @theskint.