[Etan Marciano (who brought you an organ-donor tour of Brooklyn, tips on selling your hair online) has just launched his new multimedia writing project, The Hyp Replacement, which is well worth your time to check out!-Tim]

Are you tired of reading the same old blog posts? Do you find yourself aimlessly clicking through Wikipedia articles? Just how many times can you scroll through your Facebook feed? Sounds like your suffering from UORF: Useless Online Reading Fatigue! According to leading Internet researchers, one in four adults between the ages of 18 and 85 experiences symptoms related to UORF including mindless link clicking, repetitive scrolling and futile word skimming. If you are seeking relief, look no further. Launched on Jan. 1 and available at absolutely no charge, The Hyp Replacement is a self-published online-based serialized story. It’s the literary jolt you need to get through your day! Appearing in short, easily digestible chapters and combining compelling prose with state-of-the-art social media, The Hyp Replacement follows the daily lives of four characters who share a Brooklyn brownstone. Through Twitter feeds, Tumblr posts, YouTube videos or classic 3rd person narrative, each day’s chapter guarantees thrill from start to finish. So start reading today and never suffer from UORF again!

Initially inspired by Japanese cell phone novels and in the same vein as serialized stories like The Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe and Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin, The Hyp Replacement seeks to offer time-strapped (and attention impaired) readers with the most awesome of opportunities to tune into short chapters of an ongoing story.

BROOKLYN ICE HOUSE
318 Van Brunt St. between Pioneer & King, Red Hook

What is it: This Red Hook staple is a neon-lit beacon of hope on an otherwise “where the f am I?” stretch of Van Brunt Street.

Why we love it: It’s the answer to the question people are always asking: “what there is to do in Red Hook? Plus, cheap beer, pulled pork and a spacious backyard to chill out.

Who to bring: What might look like a strictly neighborhood dive, is in fact, a well-cared-for and tended establishment with a come-one-come-all atmosphere fit for locals and out-of-neighborhooders alike; Anyone with wheels (getting out to Red Hook can be tough!) or a beer connoisseur.

What to order: Two pulled pork sandwiches for $5 and onion rings. Absolutely delicious.

Ice House fun fact: The bar has 60-plus beers, categorized by country for your convenience, and minus the pretension.

The London Souls, Monday at Brooklyn Bowl

It’s that time of the week again. That’s right, you guessed it: cheap music in Brooklyn time. Power up your Monday with a set by The London Souls at the Brooklyn Bowl. Ease your way through the week with Ayumi Ishito at Coco 66 and Druthers at Bruar Falls. Conclude the almost end of your work week with some feral DJ action at Zebulon. You know the deal, nothing more than $5.

Monday, Mar. 7

The London Souls, TAB: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., $5, 8 p.m.

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppet’s Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 pm

Tuesday, Mar. 8

Ayumi Ishito: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave., free, 8 p.m.

Travis Laplante, Kurt Weisman, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Wednesday, Mar. 9

Druthers, A Locomotive, Chris Peck: Bruar Falls, 245 Grand St., free, 8 pm

Emma Tricca, Sebastian Blanck, Purehorsehair: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm

Thursday, Mar. 10

Nettle (DJ Rupture’s Live Band), Guest DJs: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm

The Kickdrums, free at BK Bowl tonight

This week’s mantra is, “as always, all shows are $5 or less.”  From The Kickdrums tonight to Hallelujah on Thursday, you can say it again as you welcome in the first days of March: “as always, all shows are $5 or less.” And just in case you didn’t hear me over the prattling post-Oscar, Omigod-did-you-see-her-dress commentary likely taking place right beside your desk, “as always, all shows are $5 or less.”

Monday, Feb. 28

The Kickdrums, Emil And Friends, Phillydelphianz, DJ Mick Boogie: Brooklyn Bowl, free, 8 pm.

Pop Schmidt, Leo Carrillo, Francis Brady, Fischer, AEIOU: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave., free, 8 pm.

Ben + Vesper with Aaron Roche and Werebears: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm.

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppet’s Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 pm.

Tuesday, Mar. 1

Melvin Van Peebles with Laxative: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm.

le trio de Gabriel Richards: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave., free, 8 pm.

Wednesday, Mar. 2

Dropson, Wetnurse/Point Reyes, Further Reductions and DJ Guest: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm.

Thursday, Mar. 3

Hallelujah, The Homophones, DJ Set by Jess Rotter, Kevin Barker: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 pm.

Viuex Farka Toure, Monday at Zebulon

This week’s diverse line up spans the luscious musical landscape, from the mountains of blues to the valleys of punk. So whip out your Metrocard or rev up your bicicletta and find the Brooklyn venue nearest you. Just remember: where love fails, cheap music forever triumphs. As always, all shows are $5 or less.

Monday, Feb. 14

Bryan Ellis, Outtasight, DJ Get Live, Alan Wilkis: Brooklyn Bowl, free, 8 p.m.

Vieux Farka Toure: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppet’s Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Feb. 15

Gross Relations, Rottweiler the Best, Sarin Mchugh and The Everymen: Bruar Falls, 245 Grand St., $5, 8 p.m.

il quintetto matteo rebulla: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave., free, 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 16

Delta Hotel, The Bern and The Brights, Amy Klein: Bruar Falls, 245 Grand St., $5, 8 p.m.

DBCR, Yorba Linda, Unstoppable Death Machines: Union Pool, 484 Union Ave, $5, 8 p.m.

Black Swans, Matt Bauer: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 17

Words, Up Died Sound, Hubble: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Monday, Feb. 7

The Kickdrums, Trouble Andrew, The Kid Daytona, Curt@Ins, DJ Jared Of Innerpartysystem: Brooklyn Bowl, free, 6 p.m.

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppet’s Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Feb. 8

The Rozatones: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., free, 8 p.m.

M.A.K.U., 2′s and 4′s: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave., free, 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 9

Brown Brogues, Cesspool: Bruar Falls, 245 Grand St., $5, 8 p.m.

Soliders of Fortune: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 10

Eye Candy for Strangers ft. Free Blood, Lymbyc Systym: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., $5 (in advance), 8 p.m.

Nettle, Piers Facini: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Slush: your feet's worst enemy.

The snow is unrelenting and you’re pissed off: You’ve shielded your ears, body and hands from the brutal whip of the Winter Regime, but the one thing you failed to invest in at the start of the winter was a pair of waterproof boots. And your ill-armored feet are being tormented. You’ve likely had doubts about buying boots this late in the year. But with snow end in sight, it’s worth re-working the budget for a last-minute buy. For all dudes with feet yearning for shelter, here’s a list of cheap boots available at a store near you.

Unfortunately, prices for boots can be on the steeper side, but the operative word here is “invest.” So, that said, here lies a starter guide to some of the cheapest options available in the borough. Not since ’96 has the city seen snow accumulation as egregious as this. Shop now and you could avoid all the life-draining, skin-drying, feet-chilling forces of next season’s (and the season after that) brutal snowpocalyi.

Dr. Jay’s, 485 Fulton St, (718) 596-3577

At $30.99, you can snag a pair of Pome’s Sherpa-lined leather boots (at left). From the looks of it these boots seem well-equipped to handle even the most inclement of James Cameron-type abyss puddles of ice and slush.

Peachfrog, 136 N. 10th St, (718) 387-3224

According to Peachfrog’s vague, but nevertheless upbeat, website, they’re offering men’s Duck Boots for $39.99. Sadly, a description of the boots and its available sizes are not included on the site. Call ahead to see if they have your size.

Target, multiple locations
Coming in at $34.99, Merona’s Ryler Boots (at right) look simple, sturdy and relatively impenetrable. So when the next weather event befalls us, you can lace up a pair of your new Ryders and trek fearlessly to your favorite Brooklyn winter cozy spot.

Payless, multiple locations
The Ranier Boot cost $42.99, and, according to the implicitly vulgar product description, their tall shaft provides more than enough ankle support. Adolescent play on words aside, these Mosaic (as in like Moses) boots seem fully capable of parting just about any street corner Sea of Slush.

DSW, 139 Flatbush Avenue, (718) 789-6975 ‎

For $49.95, the most expensive of the bunch (but maybe the highest quality?), you can slip your frigid pups into a pair of Sporto’s Dripper Waterproof Shoe aka the unofficial Foot Snuggie. They won’t keep your ankles dry, but these shoes will surely go great with a fresh n’ classy can of Big Flats.

If you have any suggestions for any other Brokelynista stores that carry affordable winter boots, let us know below.

Zongo Junction, Wednesday at BK Bowl

Another week, another impending weatherpocalypse to make the winter seem like a cruel and impenetrable fortress of boringness. This week’s listing of free and cheap live music should be enough to motivate you to don those secondhand wellies and get your blood flowing with the likes of Zongo Junction, Baptist Church, Trio Geo and more. As always, all shows are $5 or less.

Monday, Jan. 31

Dr. Uke and Daughters: Littlefield (part of the Hot Tub comedy show), 622 Degraw St, $5 (bought in advance), 7:30 p.m.

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppet’s Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Feb. 1

Trio Geo, 2′s & 4′s: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave, free, 9 p.m.

Sara Schaeffer, Brooke Van Poppelen, Craig Baldo, Heather Lawless, Guest DJ Roger Hailes (hosted by Don Stahl): Bruar Falls, 245 Grand Street, free, 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 2

Michelle Nagai presents Tree Set: Issue Project Room, 232 Third St., free, 8 pm

Zongo Junction: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., $5, 8 p.m.

Pillars and Tongues, Hiro Kone, Highlife: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 3

Baptist Church, Sweet Tooth Nelson, DJ Rahill Jamalifard: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Dreamers of the Ghetto, free at Coco66 on Thursday

As of this writing, it’s a balmy six degrees outside, and the rest of the week’s temperatures don’t look too welcoming either. Use this week’s roundup of free and cheap music in Brooklyn to help keep your ears warm. You can start by heating them frigid hands by the funky fires of The Jam Stampede at the Brooklyn Bowl on Tuesday, and follow up with free shows by the buzzy bands Ava Luna and ARMS later in the week. As always, all the shows below are just $5 or less.

Monday, Jan. 24

Open Jam Session hosted by John McNeil/Mike Fahie: Puppets Jazz Bar, 481 Fifth Ave., suggested donation, 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Jan. 25

The Jam Stampede (feat. members of the Zen Tricksters): Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., $5, 8 p.m.

The Matteo Rebulla Quartet: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave, free, 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Jan. 26

Miniboone, Ava Luna, Miracles of Modern Science: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., free, 8 p.m.

Vaz, Xaddax, Radiation Blackbody, Fall of Another Year: Bruar Falls, 245 Grand Street, free, 8 p.m.

Modra, Llilw Gray, Tamio Shiraishi:  Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.

Thursday, Jan. 27

Lubriphonic: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., $5, 9 p.m.

Dreamers of the Ghetto, Milagres, Selebrite, Anything Maria: Coco 66, 66 Greenpoint Ave, free, 10 p.m.

Liturgy, Naam, Your Youth, ARMS, Shy Child (DJ Set): Union Pool, 484 Union Ave, free, 8 p.m.

Zachary Cale, D. Charles Speer and The Helix, The Heaven’s Jail Band: Zebulon, 258 Wythe Ave., free, 9 p.m.